Help Your Team Manage Stress and Build Resilience: 10 Tips for Leaders

Stress is inevitable, the world is full of change and uncertainty, and it’s a challenge we all face - at work and at home. As leaders your people’s wellbeing and helping them to manage stress and build resilience, or inner strength, is no longer a tick box exercise, it’s essential.

With the right tools and support, stress can be managed effectively, leading not only to healthier individuals but also to a stronger, more resilient team.

1. Understanding Pressure vs. Stress

It’s essential to recognise the difference between pressure and stress. Like Goldilocks, the goal is to find “just right” pressure—not too little and not too much.

• Productive Pressure: When managed well, pressure can keep us focused and motivated. In the right amount, it enhances performance.

• Excessive Pressure: If it becomes overwhelming, however, pressure crosses into stress, leading to fatigue, irritability, and decreased performance.

Actionable Tips: 

Encourage team members to recognise when they feel engaged and focused rather than tense or overwhelmed. Set Short, Manageable Goals to maintain a sense of progress and keep pressure in check. Smaller goals can keep productivity high without overwhelming the team. Remind your team to take short, refreshing breaks to recalibrate during peak pressure periods. Simple actions like stepping outside or taking a few deep breaths can prevent the shift from pressure into stress.

2. Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions

When you feel stress building, could you take a moment to acknowledge it. Awareness of how you feel physically and emotionally helps you address stress before it becomes overwhelming.

• Recognise the Signs: Pay attention to physical cues like a racing heartbeat or shallow breathing. These are your body’s “check engine” lights.

• Pause for Perspective: Rather than reacting instantly, pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a month from now? What would my wisest friend advise?” This bird’s-eye view can provide much-needed clarity.

Actionable Tips:

Encourage team members to identify and name their emotions (e.g., “I feel anxious” or “I’m frustrated”). Research shows that labelling emotions reduces intensity, helping you feel more in control. Use Reflective Questions: Teach your team to ask themselves reflective questions when stressed. For instance, “What’s in my control here?” or “What would help me feel calmer?” This promotes a more balanced response rather than an immediate reaction.

3. Lead with Empathy

Being an empathetic leader is one of the most powerful ways to build resilience. When leaders take the time to understand each team member's unique challenges and stressors, it can make a significant difference in how they approach their work. Empathy builds trust and shows your team that they’re valued beyond their productivity.

Actionable Tip:

Use empathy in your day-to-day interactions by actively listening and offering tailored support when challenges arise. Sometimes, a quick conversation or a kind word can make all the difference.

4. Foster Open Communication

One of the best ways to help your team manage stress is to create a culture of open, honest communication. This starts with you, the leader, being transparent and approachable. Encourage your team to share their concerns, listen actively, and respond with empathy. When employees feel they can talk openly about challenges without judgment, they are more likely to address issues proactively, reducing stress in the long run.

Actionable Tips:

Start meetings with a brief personal update to set an example. When leaders share openly, team members feel more comfortable doing the same. Implement “Psychological Safety” Rules by establishing norms where everyone feels they can voice concerns without fear of judgment. One simple rule is, “All questions are good questions.” Reinforce that it’s okay to ask for help or say, “I don’t understand.”

Schedule informal one-on-one check-ins every few weeks to provide a safe space for team members to share any stressors or workload concerns. Actively listen, empathize, and brainstorm ways to address any challenges they bring up.

5. Encourage Work-Life Balance

While productivity is essential, balance is key to long-term success. Constant work without adequate rest can lead to burnout, so it's important to encourage breaks, time off, and healthy boundaries between work and personal life.

Actionable Tip:

Model work-life balance yourself by setting boundaries. For example, avoid sending emails after work hours, and use your vacation days. When your team sees you prioritise balance, they are more likely to do the same.

6. Give Your Team with Stress Management Tools

Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about having the right tools to cope with challenges in real-time. Offering workshops or providing resources on stress management techniques like mindfulness, time management, and exercise can help your team develop skills to handle stress effectively.

Actionable Tip:

Organise a monthly wellness day or provide access to resources like meditation apps or fitness classes. Small investments in well-being can go a long way in helping employees manage stress.

7. Recognise and Reward Efforts

When people feel appreciated, they are more engaged and motivated. Recognition can be a powerful way to mitigate stress and build resilience. Celebrating successes, even small ones, helps create a positive work environment and reinforces a sense of purpose.

Actionable Tip:

Develop a simple system for celebrating achievements, such as a monthly shout-out in team meetings or a “thank you” board in the office. Positive reinforcement promotes a culture of support and resilience.

8. Build a Sense of Team Unity

Teams that support one another through tough times are more resilient. Fostering strong team bonds encourages employees to lean on one another for support, which can alleviate individual stress levels.

Actionable Tip:

Schedule team-building activities that align with your team’s interests, whether that’s a casual lunch, a team sports day, or a virtual trivia night. A unified team handles stress more effectively and comes together to support each other in times of need.

9. Encourage Flexibility

Allowing flexibility can reduce stress by giving employees some control over how and when they work best. This could mean flexible hours, remote work options, or allowing team members to switch tasks based on energy and focus levels.

Actionable Tip:

Consider implementing “focus hours” where employees can work uninterrupted or allow flexible start and end times for those who may be balancing work with other responsibilities.

10. Provide Learning and Development Opportunities

Learning opportunities can help employees feel empowered and equipped to handle challenges. When team members have room to grow and develop new skills, they’re more resilient in the face of change and better prepared to manage stress.

Actionable Tip: Start with my free online workshop How to Cope with Stress & Build Resilience.
Join this workshop to discover practical tools to strengthen your resilience and support your teams. We'll delve into:
🌿 What is Wellness
🌪️ Distinguishing Pressure from Stress
🚦 Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Habits
🌟 Overcoming Overwhelm
🌱 Cultivating Resilience
🧘 How to support your team

👇 BOOK A PLACE 👇

This workshop can also be tailored to run for teams and organisations in-person or virtually.

Empathy in Leadership: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Empathy in Leadership A Guide to Emotional Intelligence

In today’s fast-paced, ever-evolving workplace, leaders are expected to do more than just technical experts, they are required to understand, inspire, and connect with their teams on a human level. This is why emotional intelligence (EQ) and empathy are essential skills. Empathy fosters trust, collaboration, and resilience, and enabling leaders to navigate the complexities of human behaviour.

As psychologist Daniel Goleman said,

“What really matters for success, character, happiness and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills—your EQ—not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

But what exactly is emotional intelligence, and how does empathy fit into the picture?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ (emotional quotient), is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage both your own emotions and the emotions of others. It's a skill set that allows leaders to connect with their teams on a more personal level, improving communication, reducing conflict, and boosting team morale. EQ consists of five key components:

1. Self-awareness – Understanding your own emotions, strengths, and limitations.

2. Self-regulation – Managing your emotions, especially in stressful or challenging situations.

3. Motivation – Maintaining drive and optimism, even in the face of setbacks.

4. Empathy – Recognising and understanding the emotions of others.

5. Social skills – Building and managing relationships, effectively communicating, and resolving conflicts.

While all five components are important, empathy plays a unique role in leadership by directly influencing how you interact with others. Empathetic leaders can put themselves in their people's shoes, to better understand their concerns, motivations, and challenges. This creates a more supportive and inclusive work environment.

Why Emotional Intelligence and Empathy Matter in Leadership

Stronger Relationships

Leaders with high emotional intelligence foster open communication and trust. They understand the importance of making genuine connections with their team, which helps create a collaborative and supportive culture. Teams led by emotionally intelligent leaders tend to feel more valued and are therefore more engaged and motivated to perform well.

Improved Decision-Making

Emotional intelligence enables leaders to make well-rounded decisions that consider not just the facts but also the emotions and perspectives of others. This allows them to take a more holistic view of situations, resulting in better decisions that are more likely to be embraced by the team.

Better Conflict Resolution

When conflict arises, emotionally intelligent leaders use their empathy and social skills to navigate the situation calmly and fairly. They can step back, manage their own emotional reactions, and understand the emotions of those involved. This results in quicker, more amicable resolutions and prevents tensions from escalating.

Increased Employee Satisfaction

Empathy in leadership leads to a more positive and inclusive workplace culture. Employees are more likely to stay loyal to leaders who understand their needs and support their growth. When team members feel seen and heard, their job satisfaction and productivity rise.

Resilience in Tough Times

Leaders face challenges daily, from managing tight deadlines to navigating company crises. Emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to handle these challenges, remaining calm under pressure while providing steady support to their teams. Their empathy allows them to acknowledge the stress their team may be experiencing and respond with compassion.

How to become an emotionally intelligent leader

The great news is that emotional intelligence and empathy aren’t fixed traits—they can be developed and strengthened with intentional practice. Here’s how you can enhance these skills:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

The first step in developing emotional intelligence is to become more aware of your own emotions and how they influence your behaviour. Regularly check in with yourself: How are you feeling? How are these feelings impacting your decisions and interactions with others? Journaling or meditation can be helpful tools for increasing self-awareness.

2. Practice Active Listening

Listening is a core component of empathy. When a team member is speaking to you, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or planning your response while they are talking. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and feelings. After they’ve finished speaking, paraphrase what they said to ensure you’ve fully understood.

3. Manage Your Emotions

Emotional regulation is crucial in leadership. Practice techniques that help you stay calm in stressful situations, whether that’s taking deep breaths, stepping away for a few moments, or reframing your thoughts. Leaders who can manage their emotions effectively are better at making thoughtful decisions and avoiding emotional reactions that could harm team dynamics.

4. Show Empathy in Action

Empathy isn’t just about understanding—it’s about acting on that understanding. If a team member is struggling, offer your support. This could mean helping them re-prioritise tasks, offering additional resources, or simply giving them a listening ear. Small actions that show you care about your team’s well-being can have a big impact.

5. Provide Constructive Feedback with Care

Feedback is a critical part of leadership, but it’s important to deliver it in a way that’s constructive and compassionate. Consider how the other person might feel and frame your feedback in a way that encourages growth rather than defensiveness. Balancing honesty with empathy helps maintain trust and respect in your relationships.

6. Build Emotional Resilience

Developing emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you won’t experience negative emotions—it means you’ll be better equipped to handle them. Building emotional resilience involves recognising your emotional triggers and practising self-regulation techniques, so you’re prepared to navigate challenges and stress without becoming overwhelmed.

7. Encourage Empathy in Your Team

As a leader, you have the opportunity to model and foster empathy within your team. Encourage team members to understand each other’s perspectives, whether during a disagreement or while collaborating on a project. Empathy within the team enhances collaboration, creativity, and mutual respect.

The Benefits of Leading with Emotional Intelligence and Empathy

When leaders prioritise emotional intelligence and empathy, they create workplaces where people feel understood, valued, and motivated. In the long run, this leads to:

• Increased employee retention: Team members are more likely to stay loyal to empathetic leaders.

• Higher team performance: A supportive environment allows employees to thrive and perform at their best.

• Stronger company culture: Emotionally intelligent leadership fosters a culture of trust, respect, and collaboration.

• Better overall outcomes: When employees feel heard and supported, they are more engaged, productive, and innovative.

Today, leadership demands more than just technical expertise, emotional intelligence and empathy have emerged as crucial qualities for success. These skills enable leaders to build stronger relationships, foster trust, and create a positive and productive work environment.

Leading with emotional intelligence and empathy isn’t just a modern leadership trend—it’s the future of sustainable and effective leadership.

Building Confidence in Leadership: A Guide to Success

Building Confidence in Leadership: A Guide to Success

Confidence is the foundation of leadership.

It drives decisions, shapes behaviours, and influences how others perceive and respond to you. A confident leader inspires trust, while a lack of confidence can sow seeds of doubt, not only within the leader themselves but also in their team. And here’s the truth: everyone, even the most accomplished leaders, faces moments of self-doubt. The secret lies in how they overcome it and continue moving forward.

Many leaders, especially those newly appointed or taking on greater responsibilities, struggle with imposter syndrome—the persistent feeling that they don’t deserve their position or are not truly qualified. This is more common than you might think, affecting both men and women, and can lead to anxiety, overworking, or perfectionism. However, confidence isn’t something you're born with—it’s a skill you can develop. The good news is that with the right strategies, you can build your leadership confidence and transform self-doubt into self-assurance. Here’s how:

1. Embrace Self-Awareness as Your Foundation

Leadership confidence starts with knowing yourself. Understand your strengths, but also your areas for growth. Self-awareness helps you manage how you react in high-pressure situations, recognise your triggers, and cultivate emotional intelligence. Regular self-reflection will allow you to view challenges as opportunities for growth, not as threats to your capabilities.

Make time to assess your emotional landscape, recognise your values, and understand your personal leadership style. Reflect on past experiences—what were your successes and failures, and what did you learn from both? With heightened self-awareness, you'll not only build confidence but also develop empathy, which is crucial for effective leadership.

2. Leverage Feedback as Fuel

While self-reflection is essential, external feedback provides the full picture. Seek constructive criticism from trusted peers, mentors, or your team. Honest, well-rounded feedback gives you a clearer sense of how you’re perceived, where you excel, and what can be improved. It’s important to create an environment where feedback is welcomed, not feared, so that those around you feel comfortable being honest with you.

Receiving feedback might sometimes be uncomfortable, but view it as a gift. If you take criticism constructively, it will help you grow and reinforce your confidence in the long run.

3. Celebrate Wins

Leaders often focus so much on their next goals that they forget to acknowledge their achievements. Celebrating even small victories will reinforce your belief in your abilities. Write down your successes—whether it’s navigating a tough decision, resolving a team conflict, or landing a key client—and return to this list whenever self-doubt creeps in.

This isn’t about being boastful, but about reminding yourself that you’ve earned your place as a leader. Keeping track of your achievements not only boosts morale but provides a record of the value you bring to the table.

4. Develop a Growth Mindset

Leaders with a growth mindset view challenges and setbacks as learning opportunities. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as a stepping stone to improvement. This mindset shift is vital for developing leadership confidence because it reframes how you approach risks and decisions. You’ll become more resilient, adaptive, and, ultimately, more confident in handling complex or unfamiliar situations.

Ask yourself after every experience: What did I learn? What could I do differently next time? Continuous learning, both from success and failure, will reinforce that you are always growing and getting better.

5. Prioritise Self-Care and Resilience

Confidence isn’t just a mental game—it’s physical and emotional as well. Leadership roles are demanding, so it’s important to nurture your well-being. Prioritise your health, set clear boundaries to avoid burnout, and give yourself permission to recharge. Physical fitness, mindfulness, and adequate rest aren’t just good habits—they also fuel confidence by giving you the energy and focus to tackle challenges head-on.

Develop resilience by adopting routines that calm and centre you, like regular exercise, meditation, or journaling. Resilience in leadership doesn’t mean avoiding stress—it means bouncing back from adversity with greater strength.

6. Build Trust Through Vulnerability

It might seem counterintuitive, but displaying vulnerability can actually strengthen your leadership. When leaders show they don’t have all the answers or admit to making mistakes, it humanises them and fosters deeper connections with their teams. Admitting when you need help doesn’t weaken your leadership—it shows you’re confident enough to rely on others and value their input.

By being transparent about your challenges, you create a culture where your team feels safe to take risks and be open about their own difficulties. This level of trust builds a stronger, more resilient organisation and ultimately reinforces your leadership confidence.

7. Communicate Assertively, Not Aggressively

Clear, purposeful communication is one of the most powerful tools of a confident leader. Practice assertiveness, which strikes the right balance between passivity and aggression. Assertiveness is about communicating your needs, boundaries, and expectations with respect and clarity.

Learning how to communicate assertively fosters stronger relationships, builds respect, and ensures your voice is heard without causing conflict. When you communicate with conviction, people are more likely to follow your lead.

8. Visualise Success

Visualisation is a powerful tool used by top athletes and leaders alike. Before entering high-pressure situations—whether it’s a crucial presentation, a difficult conversation, or an important decision—take time to visualise success. Imagine yourself performing with confidence and clarity, and mentally rehearse the steps you’ll take.

Visualisation conditions your mind to expect success and can alleviate anxiety or hesitation. By mentally preparing yourself, you’ll enter situations with a clear sense of purpose and self-assurance.

9. Lead with Purpose

Confidence in leadership grows when your actions are aligned with your purpose. Know what drives you—whether it’s making an impact, achieving a long-term vision, or championing a cause. When you lead with purpose, your decisions and actions have deeper meaning, and you’ll inspire greater trust and respect from your team.

Purpose-driven leadership also ensures that your confidence doesn’t come off as arrogance because you’ll be grounded in authenticity and service to others. This kind of leadership inspires loyalty and cultivates a culture where everyone feels empowered to contribute.

10. Learn to Be Comfortable with Discomfort

Leadership often involves making tough decisions, navigating uncertainty, and stepping into unfamiliar territory. The more you embrace discomfort, the more your confidence will grow. It’s in these moments of challenge where real growth occurs. When faced with a difficult decision, remind yourself that no leader has all the answers, and that it’s okay to take calculated risks.

Confidence doesn’t come from avoiding challenges—it comes from overcoming them. Stepping into uncomfortable situations and making decisions despite the unknown will strengthen your leadership muscles over time.

11. Empower Your Team

Finally, a confident leader recognises the importance of empowering others. When you enable your team to take ownership of their work, make decisions, and grow, you not only build their confidence but reinforce your own leadership. A team that feels trusted and valued will reflect that trust back to you.

Delegate responsibilities, mentor your team, and celebrate their achievements. As they grow under your leadership, your own confidence will be reinforced by their progress and success.

Leadership Confidence is learned through experience

Confidence isn’t an innate trait—it’s built through experience, action, and persistence. Whether you’re overcoming imposter syndrome, facing new challenges, or navigating uncertainty, these strategies will help you build and sustain the confidence needed to lead effectively.

Leadership is a journey, and confidence is something you continually develop along the way. By embracing growth, acting with purpose, and empowering those around you, you will not only inspire trust and loyalty but also unlock your own potential as a confident, capable leader.

How to: Reflective Goal Setting for a Succesful 2024

Reflective Goal Setting for a Succesful 2024 - A How to Guide

The end of the year and the festive break is a natural time to pause and reflect on the past year and consider the year ahead, both for you as an individual and for your business and team. 

Time off work over Christmas is the perfect pause we need to take time to step back from the busyness of our daily lives, to reflect on what is important to us and to set the tone for the year ahead. I encourage you to set aside time to reflect and plan - individually or with your colleagues.

This article explores the benefits of reflective goal setting for both our personal and business success and growth. Read on to find some useful prompts to reflect, grow self-awareness, and clarify your hopes, ambitions and plans for the year ahead.

The power of reflection

Reflection is a powerful tool to find closure on the things that have happened over the last 12 months - personally and professionally.

Reflection isn’t just a retrospective exercise - it will pave the way for setting impactful goals and steering yourself or your businesses toward success in 2024. By increasing your self-awareness, you will be able will be able to move into 2024 stronger and more confident.

As the motivational speaker Ed Foreman says “If we always do what we’ve always done, then we’re going to get what we’ve always got.” So building self-awareness helps to identify patterns that may be keeping you stuck.

Reflecting on everything you have achieved over the last year encourages you (individually or collectively) to celebrate successes. While acknowledging challenges and failures, helps to develop a growth mindset - in other words, to look for opportunities to change and improve.

If there are things that didn’t go so well or that you feel were failures - try to shift your perspective to recognise what you learned from the experience. Changing our perspective allows us to release old patterns, that no longer serve us - try to see things from through fresh eyes. Try not to take the role of victim and things happening TO us, - we can’t control other people, but we can control how we respond. So put yourself in the driving seat, empower yourself and take responsibility for making things happen or making changes in the year ahead.

Once you’re reflected, it’s time to think to the future - dream big and plan your year ahead.

The benefit of setting goals

• Enhanced Clarity and Focus: Goal setting helps to clarify priorities and focus on achieving them.

• Adaptability and Resilience: By learning from past experiences, you will become more adaptable and resilient in the face of challenges.

• Increased Motivation: Clear goals derived from reflection provide motivation and a sense of purpose, driving you and your to perform at their best.

How to reflect on the past and set goals for the future

Change your Perspective

Take yourself out of your usual environment - that’s why using the holiday period is valuable because we are free from the usual pressures of work. If you are doing this exercise for your business and with colleagues - get out of the office - go for a team walk, or go and talk over a coffee or lunch.

Get outdoors 

Personally, I find time outside - walking, running, cycling or just strolling and chatting with a friend, encourages our brains to slow down. It helps us to feel grounded, and gain perspective - reassessing our worries, enabling us to see the bigger picture and recognise what really matters.

Remove Distractions

Create the time and space to do this free of distractions - turn off your phone Focus on your breathing for a few minutes before you start to slow your brain down and bring yourself to the present moment.

Write it down

The process can be a gentle reflective thought process, making notes for yourself or having a discussion with colleagues. I recommend putting pen to paper, it helps to frame the reflections and make your goals concrete. There’s plenty of research that proves that people who write down their goals and objectives are more successful in achieving them.

Business and Team Goals

If you are setting goals for your business or team involve them in the process, and make it a collaborative process to foster a collective commitment. Communicate your grand vision and ask them what theirs is. Agree shared objectives and what everyone’s role is in achieving them. Set milestones and celebrate small successes along the way.

Steps to Reflect and Set Goals for 2024.

1. Start by reviewing the past year.

• Reflect on some or all of the following:
  - your personal and family life

  - your career

  - your wellness, work-life balance and how you have looked after your mental and physical health

• What have been the highlights of your year? 

• What made you happy this year and when were you happiest?

• What are you most grateful for?

• What have been your biggest successes? - try and come up with at least three. 

• What are you most proud of?

• How did you achieve these successes? 

• What’s the biggest risk you took? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned?

• Identify Lessons Learned

• Is there anything that you didn’t achieve or that you feel you failed at?

• What were the biggest challenges of the year?

• How did you react and cope in the face of these challenges

• What have you learned as a result?

• Is there anything you wish you could have done differently — forgive yourself and leave it behind.

2. Set Goals for 2024

• Start with the end of in mind - your vision - where would you like to be this time next year? 

• Dream your biggest dream. If you could wave a magic wand what would you like to happen?

• What would you like to be celebrating 12 months from now - a new job? A new home? A new business launch?

• What really matters to you? What gets you out of bed in the morning?

• What are the things that make you happy and you need to prioritise this year?

• What should you start doing more of? (e.g. exercising, seeing family, learning something new)

• What should you do less of? (e.g. kicking a bad habit, being less hard on yourself)

• What challenges might there be along the way?

• How can I try to overcome these challenges?

• Who do you need help from and what other resources might you need?

• How will you look after your well-being - your mental and physical health? Are there new boundaries or habits you want to establish - e.g. making more time for exercise or eating better, or setting new boundaries e.g. being disciplined about not checking work emails during your time off?

 3. Define Clear Objectives

With the insights gained, define clear, achievable objectives for the upcoming year. These goals should be SMART—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. They should align with the company’s mission and vision, driving growth and progress.

Next write down the specific tasks and actions you need to make these goals happen.

In Summary

• Use the holidays too make time to unplug, switch off and reflect on the year we’re about to leave behind.

• Let go of anything that was difficult or challenging, but take what you learned with you.

• Consider what you want to achieve in the year ahead.

• Set some time-frames and measures for success.

• Write it all down somewhere you won’t lose it and pull it out monthly or at least a few times during the year ahead to see how you are getting on.

• Celebrate the small steps and milestones along the way and don’t be too hard on yourself about things that don’t go to plan.

My Personal Reflections

As I write this, I have looked back at the goals I set myself on New Year’s Eve last year - many of them have come to fruition - I have established my coaching and leadership development business and have worked with some fantastic individuals and businesses.

I found the courage to resign from a contract that this time last year, was filling me with dread and making me very unhappy, however well paid it was!

I am in the process of buying my own home and moving to Bristol to start a new life.
I have a nearly 365-day streak of learning Spanish on Duolingo!

I supported my son through A-levels and starting university.

I’ve been to dozens of gigs and a handful of music festivals.

And I have spent more time with family, old friends and made lots of new friends too.

Now, I wonder what I’m going to set as my goals for 2024…

How to Cope with Stress

How to Cope with Stress

Christmas is inevitably one of the busiest and most stressful periods for people at work and at home. We have tasks to complete tasks, objectives to achieve or just a sense that we need to get things done before the end of the year.

How do you manage stress and build resilience for you and your team?

Pressure versus Stress

It’s important to remember that there is a difference between pressure and stress. Just like Goldilocks, we want ‘just right’ pressure - not too little and not too much.

When there’s no pressure and we aren’t busy enough feeling, we may feel bored, disengaged and undervalued. While we’re in our comfort zone we are just coasting and have the potential to feel apathetic. But when we experience the ‘just right’ level of pressure we feel focused, alert, stimulated, energetic, motivated and engaged.

There’s a fine line between too the ‘just right’ pressure and too much and that tipping point is going to be different for different people. Be aware of that when you’re thinking about your colleagues and staff.

When we feel stressed we start to make mistakes, feel out of control, become irritable, anxious and experience low morale. In time this can cumulate to cause exhaustion, needing time off and ultimately burnout and mental health issues.

As well as the impact on an individual, the business will suffer from increased staff absence and high turnover. The data is well reported elsewhere.

1. Put your own oxygen mask on first

It’s vital to start with yourself, just as on an airplane we are instructed to put our own oxygen mask on first.

We all need to keep an eye on our personal fuel gauge - just as running out of petrol is bad for your car, letting our own wellness tank run on empty is bad for us.

It is normal to feel pressure and even stress for short periods, but it’s important to recognise when it’s too much it and try to build resilience. Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things are difficult or don’t go as planned. Resilient people don’t dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn, and then move forward stronger.

2. Pause and accept how you feel

Be aware of how you feel, your emotions and energy levels and be aware of when you are tipping into the strain or stress zone. Recognise any physical symptoms that are your body’s own warning signs - fast heartbeat, short breathing, knotted stomach or poor sleep.



Pause, recognise and accept how you are feeling.
You can’t always choose the situation that is going on around you at home or work and you can’t choose your emotional response, but you can make choices about how you deal with it.

See the big picture
When we feel stressed our brains are hard-wired to overreact, our perceptions can be warped, we might feel that the world is against us and we might respond by going into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Take a bird's eye view - What do you see from up there? Does it look any different? What would your wisest and kindest friend advise you? How much will this matter a month from now? What about next year?

3. Focus on what you can control

Become aware of how much time and energy you spend worrying about things you can’t control or can’t change. This will help to reduce stress, frustration and overwhelm.

Start by writing a list of your worries and stress and then separate them between:

• Things you can directly control - your own actions or behaviours

• Things you can influence (in other words you can’t control other people or company-wide decisions but you might be able to influence them)

• Things that are completely out of your control

If you focus on what is within your control you can shift your attention, be more proactive and productive.

This concept of Circles of Control was popularised by Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

4. Avoid, Alter, Accept Adapt

Once you’ve identified the causes of your stress, you have four options:

1. AVOID - Know your limits and try to stick to them. If you are asked to take on more than you can manage, or asked to do one too many things, can you learn to say no? It’s not easy to say no, especially if are short-staffed, but can you at least start the conversation and explore reprioritising tasks or reallocating them?

2. ALTER - if you can’t avoid the pressure or stressful situation, work out what you can do to change it. Sometimes this involves expressing your feelings instead of bottling them up. Be open about your limits. Remember to use "I" statements, as in, "I feel frustrated by being asked to take this on. Is there something we can do to balance things out?" Is there anything you can do to manage your time better? Block out time to focus on specific tasks and try and avoid interruptions, and group certain tasks together into chunks of time.

3. ADAPT - Can adapt to the pressures by reframing problems and trying to see the positives. What are you grateful for? Let go of perfectionism and recognise when good is good enough.

4. ACCEPT - Many sources of stress are unavoidable and you just have to accept them and deal with them. If you find that hard, is there someone you can talk to? Sometimes changing your surroundings just for a minute can help break out of a sense of powerlessness. Opening up to someone else can also reduce stress because it helps to distance ourselves from it and gain perspective.

5. Make time to decompress

Make sure you give yourself the time and the space to decompress. When we’re exhausted from work, it’s easy to stop looking after ourselves outside work, especially if you are getting home late at night or if you work from home and there aren't any boundaries.

Use your journey home from work to reflect, think about the good things that happened today, and let go of the difficult things while exploring what could be different next time. Writing stuff down can help to get it out of your head, even if you wake up in the middle of the night worrying about work, use the Notes or reminder function on your phone or carry a good old-fashioned notebook, to write down the things you need to do tomorrow, then let it go until tomorrow.

Make sure you try and make time to rest and relax, do something you enjoy every day whatever that may be for you - from walking your dog or meeting a friend for coffee. Make time to connect with friends and family outside work. Time spent outside and exercising is essential for our wellbeing as is eating well, staying hydrated and good sleep.

It’s not easy to switch off when we are constantly available via email or messages pop up on WhatsApp. Use your phone's “do not disturb functions’ to turn off notifications from work contacts when you’re not in work.

Any small steps you can take will help you to build resilience and cope with stress.

6. Supporting your staff’s wellness

When it comes to your staff, invest time in their wellbeing and create a supportive environment that considers the whole person and treats them as individuals.

On a day-to-day basis encourage positive relationships between colleagues and foster a supportive atmosphere where people are kind to each other and listen and support each other. Doing nice things for other people releases oxytocin which makes you feel good about yourself.

Foster a culture that promotes a good work-life balance. Encourage people to take breaks, leave on time and take their holiday allowance. Promote the importance of self-care: rest, relaxation, exercise, diet and sleep.

Proactively monitor everyone’s workload. Make sure that work is clearly defined, is well-matched to their abilities and that deadlines are acceptable.

If you work on a shift/rota basis: Strive to get staffing levels and rotas right, try to ensure rotas are fair and considerate to everyone, especially during the busy and sometimes unpredictable Christmas season - it’s the key to maintaining a happy and motivated workforce.

Provide rotas as far ahead as possible so that people can plan and enjoy their days off. Be as flexible as you can be allowing people to swap shifts within reason, and make it acceptable to take sick leave for mental health challenges.

Keep communicating – make time to talk to your staff and regularly check-in with them individually and privately. Be transparent with staff about what is going on in the business and be honest with them - for example about reasons why you may need them to take on more work. Mutual trust is the number one factor in creating a positive culture and relationship between manager and staff.

Foster a culture where people can come and talk to you and share their problems inside or outside work. Ask open questions, listen and be respectful and ask them what they need from you, whether that’s more support or training, time-off (for mental or physical health) or sign-posting to professional advice.

Finally, look out for staff who are struggling and ask them what they need. You can’t force them to change or seek help, but be aware that there are lots of resources and sources of support out there for people who are struggling.

If you would like to talk to someone about how to deal with stress, manage your workload, build resilience, and support your team, please get in touch. I offer a free 30 minute coaching session to explore how I can support you. You can email me polly@pollyrobinson.co.uk

10 Ways to build a happy, engaged and motivated team

10 Ways to build a happy, engaged and motivated team

When you think about how much of our time is spent at work, it’s only natural that we want to enjoy that time, we want it to be meaningful and have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. No one is going to be committed to a job that is always stressful, boring, monotonous, or where we feel unappreciated. We want to have good relationships with the people we work with, to feel that our work has a purpose, that we are valued and recognised and that our time at work is fun. These are core needs which drive employee engagement. 

Employee Engagement matters because happy staff equal happy customers. It drives higher productivity and ultimately a more successful business. It boosts retention and reduces stress. Paying someone a competitive salary is not enough to ensure that they are engaged, loyal and committed to their job.

What do we mean by employee engagement?

A simple definition of employee engagement is the ‘emotional commitment’ that someone has to their work and the organisation. It’s how emotionally involved and loyal they are to the business, colleagues and customers. That emotional commitment is what drives people to go above and beyond their job description to create a memorable moment of hospitality for your guests.

So what can you do to build an engaged team?

10 Ways to boost engagement

1. Shared Purpose and Values
   Engagement starts with having a shared purpose, bringing everyone together around the reason you exist. Managers need to connect employees with the mission and vision of the organisation by connecting their work to the bigger picture. Instead of focusing on the day-to-day tasks, highlight how you want to make a difference to your customers and deliver a memorable experience. Do your team know why you are all there? What does your organisation want to be known for, how is your business special and how are you going to achieve that together? If you can communicate the vision with your team, the ‘WHY’, and give them the opportunity to contribute to the ‘HOW’ then you will build commitment. A culture where people have a sense of how they are part of creating something amazing.

2. Build a Community

   A positive culture is an enigmatic thing. It’s a community which comes together around shared values. Values are how you behave as a business, what you believe in, and how you treat each other and your customers. Define these values and communicate them on a regular basis. Seeking your staff’s contribution to defining values is even better. Values aren’t just a list of words written up in the staff room or handbook, they have to be authentic and demonstrated in everything you do. An employee will feel connected to their job when their personal values align well with the organisation’s values, so when hiring new staff communicate your values and explore if there is a match, and then reinforce them every day.

3. Positive Relationships

   The number one reason people leave a job is because they don’t get on with their manager. The relationship between a manager and employee is vital, as is fostering good relationships between peers. Managers should communicate with their team regularly, Check in with your staff on a daily basis with a focussed “How are you?” (rather than just a casual greeting) - ask questions and practice active listening. Make time for one-to-ones as well as team meetings. Consider the whole person, ask people what motivates them, and what their passions are to get a sense of how fulfilled people are in their roles.

4. Trust and Mutual Respect

   In a culture where there is mutual trust and respect, staff trust leaders to make the best decisions and leaders trust staff to do their best work without needing to micromanage. When you give people responsibility and autonomy they are likely to exceed your expectations. Employees who feel comfortable expressing themselves are more engaged, so aim to create an environment where people feel comfortable approaching you with ideas or concerns. Be transparent, honest and consistent as a leader. Respect everyone and treat everyone the same whether they are full or part-time. Deal with conflict in the moment rather than sweeping it under the carpet and letting it fester.

5. Recognition
   It’s human to want to feel seen, heard and valued. You can work as hard as you can, and be the best you can be, but if you don’t feel seen and heard, you will lose motivation and become disengaged. When we’re busy it is easy to forget to acknowledge people. On a daily basis, encourage people with a simple smile, celebrate success with a high-five, thank people at the end of a shift and highlight positive achievements to the whole team. 

6. Growth and Development

   People don’t just leave a job for more money - they leave because they’re not challenged, because they’re not learning and because they don’t see an opportunity for career development. We all have a natural curiosity to discover and learn new things. What opportunities do you offer for personal and professional growth and development? How do you support your staff to be the best they can be? This might be skills training for the job or mentoring from a colleague to develop soft skills. It might be giving formal or informal feedback to encourage people to push themselves forward or it could be talking about their future in the business.

7. Wellbeing

   Plenty has been written about the importance of looking after your staff’s well-being. When people feel stressed or that the balance of their life and work is wrong they become disengaged. Strive to establish the right work-life balance: encourage people to take breaks, monitor overtime and raise a flag if someone is doing too much. Try to set a manageable workload with the right balance of challenge and interest and ensure that they have the right tools, equipment and training for their job. Create an environment where people feel they can talk to someone about any issues they are experiencing in or outside work. Signpost people to additional support if needed.

8. Flexibility

   Flexibility means giving your staff the opportunity to enjoy their life outside of work as much as possible.
Flexibility on rotas isn’t easy to achieve but be aware of what other commitments people have outside work, whether that’s childcare or studying. Try to provide rotas with as much notice as possible, and avoid last-minute changes so people can plan their time away from work.
It’s estimated that around 30% of hospitality workers leave in the first 90 days because the job isn’t what they expected, so be transparent with new starters about expectations and the reality of the role.

9.  Fair reward

   A secure income is obviously important to people, not least during this cost of living crisis. The industry has seen higher average pay rises than the national average. But while businesses are under their own financial pressures what else can you do to reward people for their commitment? Do you also offer incentives for higher performance, a benefits scheme (from pensions to perks). Financial bonuses, gifts or a hand-written note for high performance or going above and beyond are all meaningful ways to reward staff.

10. Fun

    We spend more of our waking hours at work than out of it, so it needs to be fun. Managers should encourage fun and promote a relaxed environment where people can enjoy a laugh together. Social events are a great way to form genuine connections, that may be a staff meal, a casual after-work drink or a more organised staff party.

How does Hospitality improve diversity, inclusion and equality?

Asma Khan, owner of Darjeeling Express and star of Netflix’s Chef’s Table, has written widely about her experience of starting her restaurant. She says she believed it would never be possible to run a business in a world that she described as "an all white, all male club." She said, if she had a daughter, she would seriously discourage her from a career in hospitality, where kitchens are all too often "a toxic testosterone-fuelled environment."

This last point obviously resonated strongly for me after my then 17-year old daughter announced that she wanted to be a chef. We talked seriously about what a tough career choice that was, especially for woman. We talked about how life as a chef almost completely incompatible with being a mother and how the majority of kitchens remain a very male and macho environment. Needless to say, like all good teenagers, she listened to my advice and chose to ignore me!

At the Propel Hospitality Talent and Training Conference in London on Tuesday 3 October, Asma Khan moved me to tears as she spoke, as she has done before when talking about her incredible work establishing a cafe in a refugee camp in northern Iraq employing traumatised Yazidi women.

This time she spoke about how she still feels like an outsider in the world of hospitality, but she’s learned to see it as an advantage. She talked about how food not only has the power to bring us together, but is also a cause of division. She said in India “Food is main way people are divided” by religion and caste. At her restaurant Khan employs women from all backgrounds, religions and ages and abilities. Everyone is welcome and everyone is equal “We put our religion and our caste at the door, we celebrate every festival. We are a team.

A diverse team gives you strength

Asma Khan believes that you strengthen your team by having a diverse team and urged all businesses build a diverse workplace.

Hiring a diverse team is key to inspiring the next generation in hospitality.

Her advice:

• Understand you are a team

• Be empathetic and let people know that they matter

• Offer flexible work and reduce the hours

Darjeeling Express is a model of what a diverse workplace can be.

However, the reality of diversity in the hospitality sector is different as demonstrated by Be Inclusive Hospitality's 2023 Inside Hospitality Report , a comprehensive account of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion in hospitality through a race lens and whic includes 3,120 views and experiences captured encompass all backgrounds, genders, ages, jobs, and lengths of service.

The report says 1 in 3 respondents report personal experiences of discrimination at work and that only 16% of hospitality workers believe it’s an inclusive and diverse industry.

I was honoured to host a crucial discussion in The Restaurant Show with:

• Lorraine Copes Be Inclusive Hospitality award-winning social entrepreneur, hospitality consultant and life coach. Lorraine has two decades as an executive director for brands including Gordon Ramsay Restaurants and Corbin & King, but felt compelled to form Be Inclusive Hospitality CIC in 2020 due to the consistent lack of representation of people of colour in positions of influence and the supply chain. This social enterprise now holds the prime position of igniting much-needed conversations and delivering initiatives to advance change within the hospitality, food, and drink sectors.

• Mecca Ibrahim co-founder of Women In The Food Industry, a Community Interest Company for conversation, insight, stories, resources & community support as women in food face obstacles of inequality & inclusion.

• Chris Todd Head of Talent JKS Restaurants a former chef who now oversees all recruitment and talent initiatives across JKS’s portfolio of 22 restaurants including Trishna, Gymkhana, Kitchen Table, Sabor and Lyle’s; Hoppers, BAO, Brigadiers.

We agreed that more needs to be done to change the perception of working in Hospitality. The sector has improved but we need to blow our own trumpet more to shout over the stereotypes portrayed in TV shows like Boiling Point and The Bear. Education is key. We need to get young children interested in food and hospitality and work with parents, schools and colleges to show it’s an amazing career for life, not just a stop-gap.

Lead with Resilience

Happy staff create happy customers and that starts with a happy you.

Today we’re all under so much pressure at work and at home. Many teams I work with are short-staffed and those who are there are having to work harder and longer. But there’s only so long we can keep this up and eventually we start to run on empty, like a car running out of petrol - it doesn’t do us any good in the short or long term.

As a leader, it’s down to you to create an environment that fosters a positive attitude towards managing stress, prioritising our wellbeing and encourages a healthy work-life balance (or LIFE-WORK in that order).
Start by focussing on your own wellbeing, and then support your team.

It’s vital to start with yourself

Just as on an airplane we’re instructed to put our own oxygen mask on first. If you are starting to feel resentful, find yourself starting to complain to friends or family and keep coming back to the same issues, and if it’s starting to affect you out of work, it’s time to pause, shift your perspective and set some boundaries.

1. Firstly pause, recognise and accept how you are feeling. You can’t choose your emotions but you can choose how to respond to them. Try shifting your perspective, in moments of stress our perceptions can be warped and it’s easy to feel like the world is turning against you. Our brains are hard-wired to overreact in stressful situations.

2. Ask yourself in a month from now how much will this matter - and what about in a year?

3. Imagine you are a fly on the wall or a bird in the sky, what do you see from up there? Is anything clearer?

4. Focus on what you can control and influence and try not to get stuck on things that are out of your control, this reduces your feeling of overwhelm and frustration and enables you to be more proactive and effective. These steps will help you to build resilience and the ability to cope with and bounce back from adversity.

Your team’s wellbeing

When it comes to your staff, invest time in their wellbeing and create a supportive environment that considers the whole person and treats them as individuals. What are the things that make them want to come to work, or what might be the obstacles to them wanting to come in, is there anything you can do to make work more of fun and fulfilling for people?

1. On a day-to-day basis encourage positive relationships between colleagues and foster a supportive atmosphere where people are kind to each other. Doing nice things for other people releases oxytocin which makes you feel good about yourself. Encourage people to take their breaks and to get outside if they can, and to leave on time.

2. Proactively monitor people’s workload. Make sure that work is clearly defined, is well-matched to their abilities and that deadlines are acceptable. There’s a sweet spot where we are experiencing a moderate or higher level of pressure (this will be different for different people) and we are alert, stimulated, energetic, focused, and decisive. Not enough pressure we feel bored, apathetic, and frustrated and this can lead to low morale and underperforming. Too much pressure causes stress, and anxiety, can make us irritable and exhausted and eventually lead to burnout.

3. Strive for flexibility and forward planning - providing rotas as far ahead as possible, allowing people to swap shifts within reason, and make it acceptable to take sick leave for mental health challenges.

4. Finally, foster a culture where people can come and talk to you and share their problems inside or outside work. Listen and be respectful and ask them what they need from you, whether that’s more support or training, time-off (for mental or physical health) or sign-posting to professional advice.

Lead with Emotional Intelligence

In the recruitment crisis most sectors are facing today, it's more important than ever to remember the old adage:

People don’t quit a bad job. They quit a bad manager.

So how do you become the best boss you can be so that your team stick with you through thick and thin?

Remember your favourite boss?

It can be valuable to reflect on the best managers you’ve had or even the most inspirational teachers? How did it make you feel and how did it impact your commitment? I imagine the ones you remember inspired and motivated you, you will have felt they listened to and valued and as a result, you felt more committed and focussed.

Becoming a better boss and developing your leadership ability begins with some self-reflection and self-awareness of how your behaviour impacts those around you?

This is emotional intelligence or EQ.

This includes:

1. Self-awareness – knowing your strengths, weaknesses, drivers, triggers and values

2. Self-regulation – being able to control your impulses and moods

3. Empathy – understanding others’ emotions

4. Social Skills – building rapport with others

A leader with high emotional intelligence shows up as:

• Calm

• Encouraging

• Open-minded

• Flexible

• Cooperative

• Reliable

All qualities we’d like to see in our boss. While someone with low emotional intelligence shows up at work as:

• Stubborn

• Short-tempered

• Inconsistent

• Impulsive

• Bitter

• Demanding

Can you keep your cool?

Are you able to keep your cool under pressure? How consistent and reliable are you?
There is nothing more tricky than tiptoeing on eggshells around a manager because you don’t know what mood they’re in today.
Working on your self-regulation - in other words being able to maintain a consistent mood, even under pressure, builds trust and respect from your team.

Why does Emotional Intelligence matter:

EQ accounts for 90% of the factors that separate top-performing leaders from their peers. (Goleman, Business Psychologist)

Teams with members who exhibit high EQ demonstrate greater collaboration and productivity. (Journal of Applied Psychology)

Self-aware individuals tend to be more proactive in managing their emotions, leading to higher job satisfaction and overall wellbeing. (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology)

Leaders who demonstrate empathy have more engaged and committed teams. (Center for Creative Leadership)

Stifling emotions can lead to stress, burnout, and reduced productivity.

Lead with Confidence

Personal and business success goes hand-in-hand with confidence.

Confidence is the foundation of leadership - it’s the fuel that drives us forward.

Leaders are role models - so their confidence is contagious, and unfortunately, so is lack of confidence.

If you don’t first believe in yourself, you shouldn’t expect your team to believe in you, so when you find yourself managing a team or running a business, how can you build self-confidence that will boost your presence and impact.

Many people admit to experiencing Imposter Syndrome - that fear that we don’t deserve or haven’t got the experience to be in the management position we are in and that at any moment we’re going to be found out. We’re in good company - some of the most well-known business leaders have admitted to feeling like a fraud. Imposter Syndrome is most common in women but affects men too and can cause low self-esteem, anxiety, perfectionism, procrastination, fear of delegating, and to working extra hard to compensate for what we feel we’re lacking.

Here are my tips to build your confidence as a leader.

1. The first step is to building self-confidence and overcoming imposter syndrome is to build self-awareness and self-belief — acknowledge your strengths, be aware of your emotions, values and motivations, and any triggers. We tend to be our own harshest critic so listen to your inner voice and the stories it might be telling you from your past, don’t dwell on past failures or self-doubts, instead reframe them, and look for the lessons learned and towards the future.

2. Ask for feedback - it’s one of the best ways to grow and build self-awareness. Ask colleagues, friends and family and be prepared to listen, reflect and then act on it. If you face criticism, stay calm, clarify anything you don’t understand, acknowledge the truthful elements and work on what needs to change.

3. Accept compliments - there’s a curious, and perhaps very British, tendency to shrug off compliments and to be self-depreciating but start to take the positives on board. Pat yourself on the back and remember it for a day when you might need a boost. Similarly speaking to others positively and praising them will boost your mood as well as theirs.

4. Build your trust in others and learn to ask for help. It’s ok to admit that you can’t pull it all off by yourself so don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice, whether that’s delegating tasks, bringing in an expert or reading a book or going on a course to learn something new.

5. Let go of perfectionism - it can cause anxiety, unnecessary stress, or not delegating. Try to find a sweet spot and accept when good is good enough.

6. Be brave - recognise you can't always stay within your comfort zone and that personal and business growth involves embracing challenging experiences. If you find this hard then focus on the end goal, try mental rehearsals for difficult situations, and push yourself forward.

7. Use your body - when you hold a confident posture, standing straight, shoulders back, and breathing deeply, you not only LOOK but also FEEL more confident. Adopting a ‘power pose’ even if you’re not really feeling it will give you a boost

8. Look after yourself - when you’re feeling under pressure, pause to ground yourself, breathe. Set boundaries and accept it’s ok to say no sometimes.

9. Celebrate success - sometimes we’re so busy in the day-to-day that we don’t pause to reflect or acknowledge what we’ve achieved individually or as a team. Taking a moment to recognise the positives, however small, or to notice our role in achieving success is key to building confidence.

10. Be curious - no one can teach you to be more confident, it comes through experience and believing that you will get better through practice. So ask yourself what have I learned through this experience, what did I contribute, what can I take from this and what could I do differently next time? If you have time, write it down to look back on in the future.

Finally a much-quoted mantra from American writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie:

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”