How to build Confidence and overcome Imposter Syndrome
This is the first article in my new series: Practical Tips for Leaders and Managers.
Each week, I’ll share clear and practical tips to help you be a people-focussed leader - whether you're a new manager finding your feet or an experienced leader dealing with new challenges.
Over the next 10 weeks, we’ll explore topics like:
Giving Better Feedback
Managing and Prioritising your Time
Running Effective Meetings
Dealing with Conflict or Difficult Conversations
Leading through Change
I’ve chosen these themes becuase they come up over and over again with the leaders, new managers and teams I coach.
In the first of the series we will explore:
How to Build Confidence and Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Why self-doubt is normal and what to do when it holds you back
I work with many leaders and managers, men and women, experienced and brand new and one of thing that comes up in the majority of exploratory calls or leadership development programmes is:
“I’ve got imposter syndrome.”
“I don’t feel confident.”
“I feel like I have to constantly prove I’m good enough for my role.”
“People say I look confident, but underneath the surface I’m just coping and panicking!”
Does that sound familiar?
These feelings are incredibly common, especially for capable, conscientious people doing something new or challenging or just trying to do the best job that they can.
You’re also not broken. And you’re definitely not an imposter.
The problem with giving yourself the label of “I’ve got Imposter Syndrome” is that it puts the issue inside you — like it’s a flaw or a medical condition (syndrome is a medical term) and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of imposter is:
“A person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain.”
But you’re not pretending to be someone else, you are not a fraud. You are you, you are doing new things and learning and growing.
Start by reframing it as self-doubt not Imposter Syndrome.
The first thing is to recognise that this is a normal human response. You are not broken.
Secondly you can’t talk yourself out if - it’s not about thinking positively and pushing through because it’s sitting in your nervous system not your brain. You know it’s not rational and that’s why we end up beating ourselves up about it.
So no matter what you tell yourself or anyone says to you, it’s just your body and nervous system trying to keep you safe. When it senses “threat” like a new experience, a risky decision, or fear of judgment or failure, it reacts the same way it would to real danger: Fight. Flight. Freeze. People-please.
That means no amount of positive self-talk will fix it in the moment.
The real work is about teaching your nervous system, over time, that you are safe — and you can do hard things.
There’s no overnight confidence fix.
The only way to retrain your nervous system and your rational mind is to take small, repeated steps that show it that’s you’re safe - you’ve got this - you deserve to be here.
What Happens When Confidence Is Missing
When we’re overwhelmed by self-doubt it causes us to:
Hiding, procrastinating or not stepping up to avoid being found out.
Working too hard to compensate and prove ourselves.
Over-preparing or micro-managing so we don’t loose control.
Over-explaining or being defensive
People-pleasing and not being able to say no, not now.
Confidence is built through taking small practical steps.
Practical Tips to Be More Confident
You can’t think your way out of self-doubt — but you can take small steps that build trust in yourself over time. Here’s where to start:
Let go of the label
The word syndrome sounds like there’s something wrong with you. There isn’t. This isn’t a diagnosis — it’s a very normal response to growth.Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
Write it down to get it out of your head - these emotions are real but it’s not because you’re not capable. By naming it and writing it down, you distance yourself from them. You’re not overreacting — your body, your nervous system responding to perceived threat or danger.Calm Your Nervous System
Before doing something that feels scary, speaking up in a meeting, making a big decision or giving some difficult feedbck, pause to calm your system. This is physiological and shows your nervous system: “I’m safe, I’ve got this.” Try:
- A few deep belly breaths
- A quick walk, stretch
- Some fresh air and sunlight or splashing cold water on your face
- A grounding phrase like: “I am safe and capable.” and physically planting your feet on the floor to ground yourself.Take a Small, Achievable Step
Confidence is like a muscle - you build it through doing and discovering that you’re safe. This isn’t about giant leaps, it’s about small steps.
Ask: “What’s one small thing I can do to move forward from here?”
Don’t get held back by needing perfection, just take a small step.Be Kind to Yourself
You’re allowed to feel nervous. You’re allowed to not know everything. Talking back to the nagging voice in your head, your inner critic, as if you were your best friend giving the kindest advice.
Ask: “What would I say to a friend feeling like this?”Create a Safe Space to Reflect
Build a habit of offloading what’s in your head so it doesn’t stay trapped there. Talking to friends or a partner can help but make time for quiet personal reflection by keeping a journal or notebook. This isn’t about keeping a diary - it’s about clearing space and building evidence. Use these prompts:
- What three things went really well today (even small things)
- What’s spinning in my head or what am I overthinking.
- What is my inner critic saying and your kind, rational response
- What 1–3 things would make tomorrow feel like a win?Acknowledge and Celebrate Small Wins
Make time to give yourself a pat on the back when things go well or you’ve done something brave. Acknowledge what you’ve achieved (even the tiny things). Write it in your journal to look back on in the future.
Reflection Exercise: Building Confidence From the Inside Out
Take 10 quiet minutes to reflect on these prompts:
Where in your work life do you feel confident?
Where do you not?
What’s one moment you handled well recently even if it felt hard?
What “evidence” of your strengths, skills and experience are you forgetting?
What’s one tiny step you could take this week to stretch yourself kindly?
Would you like support to build your confidence and overcome self-doubt/imposter syndrome?
If self-doubt is holding you back, I can help you to":
Understand what’s really going on beneath the surface
Build confidence from the inside out
Stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself.
Coaching gives you a safe, supportive space to say the things you can’t always say out loud — and figure out what you need to move forward with more confidence.
I offer a free first coaching call where we can explore what is holding you back and how coaching may help you get unstuck.
You can book a meeting straight into my diary using this link to Calendly - Book a Free Coaching Session >
You are also welcome to call me on 07966 475195 or email me at polly@pollyrobinson.co.uk.
