How Emotional Intelligence and Empathy made me a more Confident Leader

When I first started managing a team I was about 25 and working in a fast-growing start-up. Most of the team were hardly a year younger than me - some were older.

I was full of enthusiasm for the business’s success. I loved the team and cared about their individual success.

But I was also overwhelmed. I couldn’t get the balance between my focus on our objectives and delivering huge conferences across Europe and my personal values about really caring (read over-caring) about my relationships with the team, wanting to be liked and admired.

I remember the first time I had to deliver feedback to a colleague who was underperforming—it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My palms were sweaty, and I struggled to find the right words. What if they didn’t like what I had to say? What if they didn’t take me seriously? These thoughts swirled around my mind, making the conversation feel impossible.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve had countless difficult conversations, led teams through challenging times, and built relationships that have stood the test of time. The difference? I’ve learned that leadership isn’t about perfection—it’s about growth, self-awareness, and effective communication. And, most importantly, it's about emotional intelligence.

What is Emotional Intelligence and Why Does It Matter for Leaders?

Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. For leaders, this means being self-aware, demonstrating empathy, and using emotional understanding to guide decisions and interactions.

In my early days of leadership, I realised that my emotional reactions—whether to stress, frustration, or excitement—often influenced how I communicated with my team. The more I understood my own emotions, the better I could regulate them, leading to more thoughtful and productive conversations.

But emotional intelligence goes beyond self-awareness. Empathy is the key to building trust and stronger relationships. When you actively listen and consider the emotions of others, you're able to connect on a deeper level, which in turn creates an environment where people feel valued, supported, and motivated.

Leadership vs. Management: Knowing When to Wear Each Hat

One of the most eye-opening moments in my leadership journey was realising that leadership and management aren’t the same thing, even though they’re often used interchangeably. Leadership is about inspiring vision, guiding teams toward a goal, and motivating them to give their best. It’s about creating a culture and an environment where people want to follow you.

Management, on the other hand, is more about ensuring day-to-day operations are running smoothly, executing plans, and maintaining control over processes.

I learned that it’s not enough to simply lead or manage—I had to balance both. The key was knowing when to step into a leadership role to inspire and when to manage to keep things on track.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Finding Confidence as a Leader

Another hurdle I faced early in my leadership role was imposter syndrome. Despite my achievements, I often questioned whether I really deserved to be in charge. Who am I to be leading this team? What if they find out I’m not as capable as they think I am? These thoughts were constant.

Over time, I learned to manage imposter syndrome by adopting a simple 3-step framework:

1. Identify the triggers: What specific situations make you feel like an imposter?

2. Reframe negative thoughts: Instead of focusing on doubt, focus on the skills and accomplishments that got you to this point.

3. Take action with confidence: Confidence comes with doing. Every step forward, no matter how small, builds your self-assurance.

I realized that everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time—what matters is how you respond to it.

The Art of Communication: Clarity, Listening, and Empathy

One of the most powerful tools in any leader's arsenal is effective communication. As I reflected on my journey, I realized that clarity, active listening, and empathy are the cornerstones of any successful conversation.

Clarity helps prevent misunderstandings and aligns everyone on goals and expectations. Whether you’re giving feedback or setting a new direction, being clear about your intentions is key.

Listening is just as critical. Active listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about understanding context, emotions, and concerns. When I started truly listening, I built stronger connections with my team and gained insights that helped me lead more effectively.

Empathy ties it all together. Showing empathy in conversations, especially when giving feedback, creates an environment of trust and respect. It allows you to address challenges with sensitivity, which encourages growth rather than defensiveness.

Final thoughts - leadership is a journey not a destination

As I reflect on my own journey, it’s clear that leadership isn’t a destination but a continual process of learning and growth. Emotional intelligence, knowing when to lead vs. manage, overcoming imposter syndrome, and improving communication—these elements have helped shape the leader I am today.

If you’re just starting your leadership journey, remember this: you’re not alone. We all face challenges, but it’s how we respond to them that defines our success. By working on your emotional intelligence, practising empathy, and honing your communication skills, you’ll not only become a more confident leader but also build stronger teams and better relationships.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up with authenticity, vulnerability, and a willingness to grow.

Take Action Today:

• Reflect on your own leadership style and the impact you have on those around you

• Where can you improve your emotional intelligence? Start to tune into your emotions and how they impact your thoughts and actions, practise managing your emotions especially in stressful situations.

• Be empathetic. Practice tuning into other people’s emotions and situations - put yourself in their shoes.

• Practice active listening and empathy in your next conversation. Hold back on judgement and advice.

• Challenge your imposter syndrome by taking action, even when you feel uncertain.

Why Leaders are the Key to a Positive Culture and Engaged Teams

Years ago, I found myself in a business where the culture was slowly deteriorating. We were delivering results and clients were satisfied, but the energy and motivation were low and getting lower.

We were starting to forget WHY we were there.... and lose connection with our PURPOSE. It wasn’t just the lack of team energy that worried me—it was the sense that the leadership team had lost sight of our purpose and the values and behaviours shared in the handbook. This became a red flag for me because I’ve always believed that people are the heart of any business. Without a motivated and engaged team, no matter how much we push for results, we’ll eventually hit a wall.

The turning point came when I had an open conversation with one of the team members. She told me that although she enjoyed the work, she didn’t feel like her contributions were truly valued. That’s when it hit me: employee engagement isn’t just about hitting KPIs—it’s about creating a workplace where people feel valued and understood.

Over the years, I’ve learned that creating a positive workplace culture requires constant effort, but it’s the key to ensuring long-term success for any business.

If you don’t intentionally shape your culture, it will form by accident—and often not in the way you want.

Gallup’s 2023 State of the Global Workplace Report found that only 1 in 5 employees in the UK are actively engaged at work, and this disengagement is costing businesses up to £340 billion annually. So, what’s the solution? It's about building a culture where employees feel connected, empowered, and motivated. A positive workplace culture leads to higher engagement, greater innovation, and ultimately, improved results.

Creating a thriving culture and nurturing engagement isn’t just a "nice-to-have"—it’s essential to your business’s success. Research consistently shows that companies that invest in building a positive work culture see increased productivity, lower turnover, and stronger financial performance.

Research from CIPD highlights that organizations with a well-defined culture have 27% lower turnover rates and engaged employees are 21% more productive than their disengaged counterparts.

So how do we create and sustain that culture? It starts with clear values and shared goals.

It doesn’t happen by accident—it requires intentional effort from leadership to align the company’s values, practices, and feedback systems. According to McKinsey & Company, companies that focus on organizational culture outperform their peers by competing on values and fostering an inclusive environment.

What’s at Stake?

• Employee Retention: High engagement drives loyalty. Employees who feel connected to their company’s culture and mission are 87% less likely to leave (Gallup).

• Customer Satisfaction: Happy, engaged employees are more likely to deliver exceptional customer service, resulting in higher customer satisfaction and increased revenue.

• Innovation & Growth: A culture of trust and openness encourages employees to share ideas, contributing to better problem-solving and innovation. Companies with high levels of engagement experience 14% higher productivity and 30% greater profitability (Gallup)

4 Key Actions to Build a Thriving Culture

1. Define Your Culture and Values Clearly

A positive workplace culture doesn’t happen by accident—it requires clarity and direction from leadership. Set clear, actionable values that guide your team. These values should be embedded into everything from recruitment to decision-making. Google famously encourages employees to "be radically transparent," which has led to a culture of openness and trust. Define what works for your organization and commit to living these values every day.

Action Tip: Host a team workshop to collaboratively define your company’s core values and make sure everyone understands and aligns with them.

2. Foster a Feedback Culture

Feedback is essential for development, but it has to be constructive and consistent. Radical Candor, as described by Kim Scott, is one approach that encourages leaders to “care personally and challenge directly.” It’s about fostering a space where feedback can be given and received without fear of judgment, making team members feel empowered to share their ideas and improve their performance.

Action Tip: Set regular feedback sessions and encourage a two-way dialogue where team members feel comfortable sharing feedback about their work and the environment.

3. Encourage Open Communication

Creating an open and transparent communication channel within your team is crucial for trust and engagement. Leaders who share information and listen to their employees create a culture of inclusivity. Gallup reports that organizations with open communication practices experience 47% higher total returns to shareholders. Encourage regular one-on-ones and town hall meetings where employees can ask questions and discuss ideas.

Action Tip: Implement a monthly “Ask Me Anything” session where employees can raise any topic, allowing leadership to listen and respond openly.

4. Address Conflict with Care

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but how you handle it will shape your culture. Unresolved conflict can fester and affect morale, while well-managed conflict can lead to improved understanding and stronger collaboration. Use mediation techniques, encourage a win-win approach, and create a safe space where differing opinions are viewed as opportunities for growth.

Action Tip: Offer conflict resolution training for managers to help them identify the root causes of conflict and address issues proactively.

The Role of Leadership in Building Culture

As a leader, you play a critical role in shaping the culture of your team. Your actions set the tone for how values are lived out and how employees engage with one another. But creating and sustaining a thriving culture is not a one-time effort. It requires consistent commitment and continuous improvement. CIPD research highlights that organizations with strong cultures are 27% more likely to retain employees and are better positioned to adapt in times of change.

It’s not just about offering perks or creating a fun work environment—it’s about nurturing the environment where your team can flourish. Remember, culture isn’t something that’s automatically positive or negative—it’s what you make of it.

Final Thoughts

It’s easy to overlook the power of culture and engagement in the whirlwind of day-to-day operations. But taking time to focus on these areas isn’t a luxury—it’s an investment. By defining your culture, fostering feedback, and addressing conflict thoughtfully, you’re setting up your team—and your business—for success. You’ll find that when your team is truly engaged, the results speak for themselves.

Help Your Team Manage Stress and Build Resilience: 10 Tips for Leaders

Stress is inevitable, the world is full of change and uncertainty, and it’s a challenge we all face - at work and at home. As leaders your people’s wellbeing and helping them to manage stress and build resilience, or inner strength, is no longer a tick box exercise, it’s essential.

With the right tools and support, stress can be managed effectively, leading not only to healthier individuals but also to a stronger, more resilient team.

1. Understanding Pressure vs. Stress

It’s essential to recognise the difference between pressure and stress. Like Goldilocks, the goal is to find “just right” pressure—not too little and not too much.

• Productive Pressure: When managed well, pressure can keep us focused and motivated. In the right amount, it enhances performance.

• Excessive Pressure: If it becomes overwhelming, however, pressure crosses into stress, leading to fatigue, irritability, and decreased performance.

Actionable Tips: 

Encourage team members to recognise when they feel engaged and focused rather than tense or overwhelmed. Set Short, Manageable Goals to maintain a sense of progress and keep pressure in check. Smaller goals can keep productivity high without overwhelming the team. Remind your team to take short, refreshing breaks to recalibrate during peak pressure periods. Simple actions like stepping outside or taking a few deep breaths can prevent the shift from pressure into stress.

2. Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions

When you feel stress building, could you take a moment to acknowledge it. Awareness of how you feel physically and emotionally helps you address stress before it becomes overwhelming.

• Recognise the Signs: Pay attention to physical cues like a racing heartbeat or shallow breathing. These are your body’s “check engine” lights.

• Pause for Perspective: Rather than reacting instantly, pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a month from now? What would my wisest friend advise?” This bird’s-eye view can provide much-needed clarity.

Actionable Tips:

Encourage team members to identify and name their emotions (e.g., “I feel anxious” or “I’m frustrated”). Research shows that labelling emotions reduces intensity, helping you feel more in control. Use Reflective Questions: Teach your team to ask themselves reflective questions when stressed. For instance, “What’s in my control here?” or “What would help me feel calmer?” This promotes a more balanced response rather than an immediate reaction.

3. Lead with Empathy

Being an empathetic leader is one of the most powerful ways to build resilience. When leaders take the time to understand each team member's unique challenges and stressors, it can make a significant difference in how they approach their work. Empathy builds trust and shows your team that they’re valued beyond their productivity.

Actionable Tip:

Use empathy in your day-to-day interactions by actively listening and offering tailored support when challenges arise. Sometimes, a quick conversation or a kind word can make all the difference.

4. Foster Open Communication

One of the best ways to help your team manage stress is to create a culture of open, honest communication. This starts with you, the leader, being transparent and approachable. Encourage your team to share their concerns, listen actively, and respond with empathy. When employees feel they can talk openly about challenges without judgment, they are more likely to address issues proactively, reducing stress in the long run.

Actionable Tips:

Start meetings with a brief personal update to set an example. When leaders share openly, team members feel more comfortable doing the same. Implement “Psychological Safety” Rules by establishing norms where everyone feels they can voice concerns without fear of judgment. One simple rule is, “All questions are good questions.” Reinforce that it’s okay to ask for help or say, “I don’t understand.”

Schedule informal one-on-one check-ins every few weeks to provide a safe space for team members to share any stressors or workload concerns. Actively listen, empathize, and brainstorm ways to address any challenges they bring up.

5. Encourage Work-Life Balance

While productivity is essential, balance is key to long-term success. Constant work without adequate rest can lead to burnout, so it's important to encourage breaks, time off, and healthy boundaries between work and personal life.

Actionable Tip:

Model work-life balance yourself by setting boundaries. For example, avoid sending emails after work hours, and use your vacation days. When your team sees you prioritise balance, they are more likely to do the same.

6. Give Your Team with Stress Management Tools

Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about having the right tools to cope with challenges in real-time. Offering workshops or providing resources on stress management techniques like mindfulness, time management, and exercise can help your team develop skills to handle stress effectively.

Actionable Tip:

Organise a monthly wellness day or provide access to resources like meditation apps or fitness classes. Small investments in well-being can go a long way in helping employees manage stress.

7. Recognise and Reward Efforts

When people feel appreciated, they are more engaged and motivated. Recognition can be a powerful way to mitigate stress and build resilience. Celebrating successes, even small ones, helps create a positive work environment and reinforces a sense of purpose.

Actionable Tip:

Develop a simple system for celebrating achievements, such as a monthly shout-out in team meetings or a “thank you” board in the office. Positive reinforcement promotes a culture of support and resilience.

8. Build a Sense of Team Unity

Teams that support one another through tough times are more resilient. Fostering strong team bonds encourages employees to lean on one another for support, which can alleviate individual stress levels.

Actionable Tip:

Schedule team-building activities that align with your team’s interests, whether that’s a casual lunch, a team sports day, or a virtual trivia night. A unified team handles stress more effectively and comes together to support each other in times of need.

9. Encourage Flexibility

Allowing flexibility can reduce stress by giving employees some control over how and when they work best. This could mean flexible hours, remote work options, or allowing team members to switch tasks based on energy and focus levels.

Actionable Tip:

Consider implementing “focus hours” where employees can work uninterrupted or allow flexible start and end times for those who may be balancing work with other responsibilities.

10. Provide Learning and Development Opportunities

Learning opportunities can help employees feel empowered and equipped to handle challenges. When team members have room to grow and develop new skills, they’re more resilient in the face of change and better prepared to manage stress.

Actionable Tip: Start with my free online workshop How to Cope with Stress & Build Resilience.
Join this workshop to discover practical tools to strengthen your resilience and support your teams. We'll delve into:
🌿 What is Wellness
🌪️ Distinguishing Pressure from Stress
🚦 Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Habits
🌟 Overcoming Overwhelm
🌱 Cultivating Resilience
🧘 How to support your team

👇 BOOK A PLACE 👇

This workshop can also be tailored to run for teams and organisations in-person or virtually.

Do I need an Executive Coach?

Do I need an Executive Coach?

Have you ever thought about working with an Executive Coach, but not sure if it’s right for you?

Coaching is for anyone who wants to unlock their full potential.

A coach will help you explore your business and personal development goals and ambitions and achieve them. They can support you to build self-awareness, emotional intelligence, confidence, leadership and relationships with others.

An Executive Coach will act like a sounding board to help you think through, clarify your thoughts, shift perspective, resolve challenges and achieve your goals. Coaching is forward-looking and action-oriented.

A Coach is always on your side, they’re not there to tell you what to do, but as your guide. They will help you create a plan, help you celebrate what you have achieved and hold you accountable for achieving more.

Coaching will help you to:

• Build self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

• Make clear decisions and get stuff done

• Enhance your leadership and management skills

• Improve your relationships with others

• Sharpen your communications skills

• Be more confident and resilient.

What is Coaching

1. SPACE FOR YOU

When business and life are so busy, it’s often impossible to step back and see things with perspective. Time with a coach encourages you to stop, step back, and gain perspective. It encourages you to make time to ’work on’ the business or yourself. 

Your time with a coach is space for you alone - it’s entirely non-judgemental, private, and confidential.

2. YOU SET THE AGENDA 

The focus of the coaching is down to you. Working with a coach usually begins with an exploratory chat to identify the topics or themes you want to work on over a number of sessions. 

The coach will guide you through a series of conversations to dig deep into those topics.
The coach’s role is to make the discussions as constructive as possible.

3. FEEL HEARD

Leadership is lonely. When was the last time you felt someone was entirely focussed on listening to you and had the time and space to focus on you? A coach is there to listen and support. Coaches are experienced in deep listening. You are free to talk about anything you need including things, that you feel you can’t talk about with your manager, your colleagues, your family or friends.
A coach won’t judge or criticise.

4. FIND CLARITY, SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE AND OVERCOME OBSTACLES

Unlike counselling or therapy which tends to unpack the past, coaching is about the future. It’s about growth and development. Although it may sometimes involve exploring self-sabotaging thoughts or blocks that have held you back in the past, so you can move around them.


5. MAKE BETTER DECISIONS

Making big decisions can be stressful - sometimes we get lost in all the what-ifs. A coach will help you to evaluate the options and possible outcomes. Giving you perspective to make decisions more easily and confidently and reduce stress.

6. FOCUS ON THE FUTURE

A coach will help you to identify and achieve goals. A business coach may work with you to identify business objectives, while an executive or leadership coach help you to develop such as boosting confidence, improving time management, building better relationships or becoming a better leader.

7. MOTIVATION AND STIMULATION

Finally, coaching can be fun and rewarding. A coach should inspire and motivate you. It will stimulate you to explore new options and motivate you to move forward. Importantly a good coach will provide a relaxed, empathetic environment where you feel safe and can smile.

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How to choose a coach

If you are thinking about working with a coach it is important to find one that you like and can connect with and build rapport. You can get a good sense of a coach from their website but you should request an initial chat to find out more about them and establish if there is a good fit.

How does coaching work in practice?

Executive coaching takes place across a number of sessions over a period of time, typically 9–12 sessions across 6–9 months. The space in between sessions is important so the leader can test out new approaches and behaviours they have committed to in their previous session, then debrief and build on it in the next session. Executive coaching sessions can be delivered either face-to-face or virtually. A mixture of both can be used over time.

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Work with me - Polly Robinson Executive Coach / Leadership Coach

I am a qualified Executive Coach and Mentor (ILM Level 7) working with business leaders and senior managers in all sectors. I will become a supportive friend, a listening ear, and a shoulder to lean on.

I’m based in Bristol and coaching people across the South West, London, Wales and all over the UK. I work with coachees face-to-face or online via Zoom or other video platforms. 

We will build a strong and trusting relationship, where I will support and challenge you to focus on your values and what is important for your business and your life to inform your decisions and choices. You will identify objectives and remove the barriers that may be getting in the way of continued growth and success.

We will create space for a series of constructive conversations where you are able to be open and honest and sometimes tackle difficult topics. I will support and sometimes challenge your perspective - helping you to understand yourself better.

Free trial coaching session

If you’d like to find out more about whether coaching is right for you, and take advantage of a free 30min coaching session, contact me.

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Empathy in Leadership: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Empathy in Leadership A Guide to Emotional Intelligence

In today’s fast-paced, ever-evolving workplace, leaders are expected to do more than just technical experts, they are required to understand, inspire, and connect with their teams on a human level. This is why emotional intelligence (EQ) and empathy are essential skills. Empathy fosters trust, collaboration, and resilience, and enabling leaders to navigate the complexities of human behaviour.

As psychologist Daniel Goleman said,

“What really matters for success, character, happiness and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills—your EQ—not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

But what exactly is emotional intelligence, and how does empathy fit into the picture?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ (emotional quotient), is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage both your own emotions and the emotions of others. It's a skill set that allows leaders to connect with their teams on a more personal level, improving communication, reducing conflict, and boosting team morale. EQ consists of five key components:

1. Self-awareness – Understanding your own emotions, strengths, and limitations.

2. Self-regulation – Managing your emotions, especially in stressful or challenging situations.

3. Motivation – Maintaining drive and optimism, even in the face of setbacks.

4. Empathy – Recognising and understanding the emotions of others.

5. Social skills – Building and managing relationships, effectively communicating, and resolving conflicts.

While all five components are important, empathy plays a unique role in leadership by directly influencing how you interact with others. Empathetic leaders can put themselves in their people's shoes, to better understand their concerns, motivations, and challenges. This creates a more supportive and inclusive work environment.

Why Emotional Intelligence and Empathy Matter in Leadership

Stronger Relationships

Leaders with high emotional intelligence foster open communication and trust. They understand the importance of making genuine connections with their team, which helps create a collaborative and supportive culture. Teams led by emotionally intelligent leaders tend to feel more valued and are therefore more engaged and motivated to perform well.

Improved Decision-Making

Emotional intelligence enables leaders to make well-rounded decisions that consider not just the facts but also the emotions and perspectives of others. This allows them to take a more holistic view of situations, resulting in better decisions that are more likely to be embraced by the team.

Better Conflict Resolution

When conflict arises, emotionally intelligent leaders use their empathy and social skills to navigate the situation calmly and fairly. They can step back, manage their own emotional reactions, and understand the emotions of those involved. This results in quicker, more amicable resolutions and prevents tensions from escalating.

Increased Employee Satisfaction

Empathy in leadership leads to a more positive and inclusive workplace culture. Employees are more likely to stay loyal to leaders who understand their needs and support their growth. When team members feel seen and heard, their job satisfaction and productivity rise.

Resilience in Tough Times

Leaders face challenges daily, from managing tight deadlines to navigating company crises. Emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to handle these challenges, remaining calm under pressure while providing steady support to their teams. Their empathy allows them to acknowledge the stress their team may be experiencing and respond with compassion.

How to become an emotionally intelligent leader

The great news is that emotional intelligence and empathy aren’t fixed traits—they can be developed and strengthened with intentional practice. Here’s how you can enhance these skills:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

The first step in developing emotional intelligence is to become more aware of your own emotions and how they influence your behaviour. Regularly check in with yourself: How are you feeling? How are these feelings impacting your decisions and interactions with others? Journaling or meditation can be helpful tools for increasing self-awareness.

2. Practice Active Listening

Listening is a core component of empathy. When a team member is speaking to you, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or planning your response while they are talking. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and feelings. After they’ve finished speaking, paraphrase what they said to ensure you’ve fully understood.

3. Manage Your Emotions

Emotional regulation is crucial in leadership. Practice techniques that help you stay calm in stressful situations, whether that’s taking deep breaths, stepping away for a few moments, or reframing your thoughts. Leaders who can manage their emotions effectively are better at making thoughtful decisions and avoiding emotional reactions that could harm team dynamics.

4. Show Empathy in Action

Empathy isn’t just about understanding—it’s about acting on that understanding. If a team member is struggling, offer your support. This could mean helping them re-prioritise tasks, offering additional resources, or simply giving them a listening ear. Small actions that show you care about your team’s well-being can have a big impact.

5. Provide Constructive Feedback with Care

Feedback is a critical part of leadership, but it’s important to deliver it in a way that’s constructive and compassionate. Consider how the other person might feel and frame your feedback in a way that encourages growth rather than defensiveness. Balancing honesty with empathy helps maintain trust and respect in your relationships.

6. Build Emotional Resilience

Developing emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you won’t experience negative emotions—it means you’ll be better equipped to handle them. Building emotional resilience involves recognising your emotional triggers and practising self-regulation techniques, so you’re prepared to navigate challenges and stress without becoming overwhelmed.

7. Encourage Empathy in Your Team

As a leader, you have the opportunity to model and foster empathy within your team. Encourage team members to understand each other’s perspectives, whether during a disagreement or while collaborating on a project. Empathy within the team enhances collaboration, creativity, and mutual respect.

The Benefits of Leading with Emotional Intelligence and Empathy

When leaders prioritise emotional intelligence and empathy, they create workplaces where people feel understood, valued, and motivated. In the long run, this leads to:

• Increased employee retention: Team members are more likely to stay loyal to empathetic leaders.

• Higher team performance: A supportive environment allows employees to thrive and perform at their best.

• Stronger company culture: Emotionally intelligent leadership fosters a culture of trust, respect, and collaboration.

• Better overall outcomes: When employees feel heard and supported, they are more engaged, productive, and innovative.

Today, leadership demands more than just technical expertise, emotional intelligence and empathy have emerged as crucial qualities for success. These skills enable leaders to build stronger relationships, foster trust, and create a positive and productive work environment.

Leading with emotional intelligence and empathy isn’t just a modern leadership trend—it’s the future of sustainable and effective leadership.

Building Confidence in Leadership: A Guide to Success

Building Confidence in Leadership: A Guide to Success

Confidence is the foundation of leadership.

It drives decisions, shapes behaviours, and influences how others perceive and respond to you. A confident leader inspires trust, while a lack of confidence can sow seeds of doubt, not only within the leader themselves but also in their team. And here’s the truth: everyone, even the most accomplished leaders, faces moments of self-doubt. The secret lies in how they overcome it and continue moving forward.

Many leaders, especially those newly appointed or taking on greater responsibilities, struggle with imposter syndrome—the persistent feeling that they don’t deserve their position or are not truly qualified. This is more common than you might think, affecting both men and women, and can lead to anxiety, overworking, or perfectionism. However, confidence isn’t something you're born with—it’s a skill you can develop. The good news is that with the right strategies, you can build your leadership confidence and transform self-doubt into self-assurance. Here’s how:

1. Embrace Self-Awareness as Your Foundation

Leadership confidence starts with knowing yourself. Understand your strengths, but also your areas for growth. Self-awareness helps you manage how you react in high-pressure situations, recognise your triggers, and cultivate emotional intelligence. Regular self-reflection will allow you to view challenges as opportunities for growth, not as threats to your capabilities.

Make time to assess your emotional landscape, recognise your values, and understand your personal leadership style. Reflect on past experiences—what were your successes and failures, and what did you learn from both? With heightened self-awareness, you'll not only build confidence but also develop empathy, which is crucial for effective leadership.

2. Leverage Feedback as Fuel

While self-reflection is essential, external feedback provides the full picture. Seek constructive criticism from trusted peers, mentors, or your team. Honest, well-rounded feedback gives you a clearer sense of how you’re perceived, where you excel, and what can be improved. It’s important to create an environment where feedback is welcomed, not feared, so that those around you feel comfortable being honest with you.

Receiving feedback might sometimes be uncomfortable, but view it as a gift. If you take criticism constructively, it will help you grow and reinforce your confidence in the long run.

3. Celebrate Wins

Leaders often focus so much on their next goals that they forget to acknowledge their achievements. Celebrating even small victories will reinforce your belief in your abilities. Write down your successes—whether it’s navigating a tough decision, resolving a team conflict, or landing a key client—and return to this list whenever self-doubt creeps in.

This isn’t about being boastful, but about reminding yourself that you’ve earned your place as a leader. Keeping track of your achievements not only boosts morale but provides a record of the value you bring to the table.

4. Develop a Growth Mindset

Leaders with a growth mindset view challenges and setbacks as learning opportunities. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as a stepping stone to improvement. This mindset shift is vital for developing leadership confidence because it reframes how you approach risks and decisions. You’ll become more resilient, adaptive, and, ultimately, more confident in handling complex or unfamiliar situations.

Ask yourself after every experience: What did I learn? What could I do differently next time? Continuous learning, both from success and failure, will reinforce that you are always growing and getting better.

5. Prioritise Self-Care and Resilience

Confidence isn’t just a mental game—it’s physical and emotional as well. Leadership roles are demanding, so it’s important to nurture your well-being. Prioritise your health, set clear boundaries to avoid burnout, and give yourself permission to recharge. Physical fitness, mindfulness, and adequate rest aren’t just good habits—they also fuel confidence by giving you the energy and focus to tackle challenges head-on.

Develop resilience by adopting routines that calm and centre you, like regular exercise, meditation, or journaling. Resilience in leadership doesn’t mean avoiding stress—it means bouncing back from adversity with greater strength.

6. Build Trust Through Vulnerability

It might seem counterintuitive, but displaying vulnerability can actually strengthen your leadership. When leaders show they don’t have all the answers or admit to making mistakes, it humanises them and fosters deeper connections with their teams. Admitting when you need help doesn’t weaken your leadership—it shows you’re confident enough to rely on others and value their input.

By being transparent about your challenges, you create a culture where your team feels safe to take risks and be open about their own difficulties. This level of trust builds a stronger, more resilient organisation and ultimately reinforces your leadership confidence.

7. Communicate Assertively, Not Aggressively

Clear, purposeful communication is one of the most powerful tools of a confident leader. Practice assertiveness, which strikes the right balance between passivity and aggression. Assertiveness is about communicating your needs, boundaries, and expectations with respect and clarity.

Learning how to communicate assertively fosters stronger relationships, builds respect, and ensures your voice is heard without causing conflict. When you communicate with conviction, people are more likely to follow your lead.

8. Visualise Success

Visualisation is a powerful tool used by top athletes and leaders alike. Before entering high-pressure situations—whether it’s a crucial presentation, a difficult conversation, or an important decision—take time to visualise success. Imagine yourself performing with confidence and clarity, and mentally rehearse the steps you’ll take.

Visualisation conditions your mind to expect success and can alleviate anxiety or hesitation. By mentally preparing yourself, you’ll enter situations with a clear sense of purpose and self-assurance.

9. Lead with Purpose

Confidence in leadership grows when your actions are aligned with your purpose. Know what drives you—whether it’s making an impact, achieving a long-term vision, or championing a cause. When you lead with purpose, your decisions and actions have deeper meaning, and you’ll inspire greater trust and respect from your team.

Purpose-driven leadership also ensures that your confidence doesn’t come off as arrogance because you’ll be grounded in authenticity and service to others. This kind of leadership inspires loyalty and cultivates a culture where everyone feels empowered to contribute.

10. Learn to Be Comfortable with Discomfort

Leadership often involves making tough decisions, navigating uncertainty, and stepping into unfamiliar territory. The more you embrace discomfort, the more your confidence will grow. It’s in these moments of challenge where real growth occurs. When faced with a difficult decision, remind yourself that no leader has all the answers, and that it’s okay to take calculated risks.

Confidence doesn’t come from avoiding challenges—it comes from overcoming them. Stepping into uncomfortable situations and making decisions despite the unknown will strengthen your leadership muscles over time.

11. Empower Your Team

Finally, a confident leader recognises the importance of empowering others. When you enable your team to take ownership of their work, make decisions, and grow, you not only build their confidence but reinforce your own leadership. A team that feels trusted and valued will reflect that trust back to you.

Delegate responsibilities, mentor your team, and celebrate their achievements. As they grow under your leadership, your own confidence will be reinforced by their progress and success.

Leadership Confidence is learned through experience

Confidence isn’t an innate trait—it’s built through experience, action, and persistence. Whether you’re overcoming imposter syndrome, facing new challenges, or navigating uncertainty, these strategies will help you build and sustain the confidence needed to lead effectively.

Leadership is a journey, and confidence is something you continually develop along the way. By embracing growth, acting with purpose, and empowering those around you, you will not only inspire trust and loyalty but also unlock your own potential as a confident, capable leader.

If people enjoy work, the rest will fall into place - Lessons in Culture

Your brand isn’t just your logo and a two-dimensional design. Your brand is your people - their personalities, their behaviours and actions. 
From the first greeting with a customer or client to the final farewell, it’s people who breathe life into your brand and create a meaningful human experience.

When you reflect on meals out you’ve had - which do you remember? Do you remember exactly what you ate and drank? Or do you remember the experience and how you felt? I’m pretty sure that even if you’d had some of the most delicious food in your life if the service was bad and if the staff weren’t warm and friendly you’d think twice about going back and if they were grumpy and rude you wouldn’t go back at all - even for the food.

It’s people make the experience - the emotional connection your customers have with a brand.

For all businesses, not just customer-facing ones, your people build your brand. When people enjoy their work, feel genuinely connected with the brand’s purpose and values, and when they feel valued, your brand and your business will thrive. When people love where they work, that energy radiates outward, creating memorable experiences that resonate with customer.

What is culture?

Culture is the invisible thread that binds an organisation’s values, practices, and people, creating a unique experience for both customers and employees. Culture builds a sense of belonging and guides what we do and how we do it.



• It’s how your people feel on a Sunday night.

• It’s what people say about your when you’re not in the room.

• It’s the thing that connects us.

• It’s what makes us feel alive

At the Propel Talent & Training conference this week, hospitality businesses large and small came together to explore the concept of culture and how to nurture it. 

Ceri Gott is Chief People Officer at award-winning restaurant group Hawksmoor - which has held a place in Best Companies for over 10 years. Gott said

“If your people enjoy work the rest will fall into place.

For her “Culture is a group of talented people creating something special.” 

At Hawksmoor, building and nurturing this culture goes beyond policies; it’s about creating a place where kindness, innovation, and individuality thrive. Founders Huw Gott and Will Beckett say:

Everything stands or falls with people. People are at the heart of every business, nowhere more so than in hospitality. At Hawksmoor, every employee understands they’re not just part of a restaurant—they’re part of a bigger story.

Their ambition according to the Hawksmoor 2023 Impact report is to create:

 “SOMEWHERE YOU CAN FEEL PROUD TO WORK We want people who work at Hawksmoor, and their families, to feel proud of where they work – of the restaurants themselves, of their co-workers, of the company and of the industry. We work hard to build environments where people feel that way, and encourage them to bring families in (with a discount) to help engender that feeling, especially as this is an industry that parents don’t always wish for for their children; mistakenly in our view'.”

They have embraced this by defining values:


Liberating Kindness

Kindness is at the core of Hawksmoor’s ethos. As much as grand gestures this encompasses small things that make a difference - simple acts of appreciation like a thank you or a friendly hello can transform someone’s day. 

Gott said “We recognise that companies that foster kindness not only create a positive workplace but are also more profitable.” Kindness releases oxytocin, the “happy hormone,” which can enhance our immune systems and reduce stress. While negative interactions, such as rudeness or microaggressions, even being a witness to negativity, impacts how much a person can get done in a day and reduces their ability to problem solve.

Be the Change

Hawksmoor recognises that its people are central to innovation. Regular listening and open communication channels help keep ideas fresh and encourage employees to shape the future of the brand. By valuing feedback, they not only improve our services but also empower our staff to take ownership of their roles. The team is what makes Hawksmoor’s culture come alive, with each site’s unique dynamics creating “sub-genres” of the overall brand culture. This practice nurtures a workplace where everyone can contribute to shaping the future.

Every Day’s a School Day

Creating a learning culture where everyone has the opportunity to develop and grow which keeps people in the business, and develop new skills even if they don’t stay. This commitment to learning ensures that every team member feels supported and equipped for success.

You Be You

Diversity and inclusion are more than just buzzwords at Hawksmoor; they are integral to its identity. Co-founder Huw Gott, who was diagnosed with ADHD, openly shares his experiences, encouraging everyone to be their authentic selves. It’s recent staff survey revealed that 97% of employees feel welcomed at Hawksmoor.

The vital role of managers

In recognition of the fact that the number one predictor of how happy someone feels at work is their manager, Hawksmoor is committed to developing leaders who model these standards daily. Managers are recruited for their people skills, and they invest as much time and effort to training managers as much as anything else

Hawksmoor created a new role called ‘Culture GM’. This person looked after the liaison between support teams, operations, and the restaurant teams, ensuring clarity of the organisation’s operational strategy was being delivered in person and across all channels to everyone in the company.

People are your brand

People aren’t just part of your brand; they are your brand. Every interaction with customers and colleagues, every story shared—they’re the lifeblood of your business.

Top Tips for Building a People-Centric Brand

1. Prioritise Empathy and Kindness
   Small gestures and genuine gratitude make a big impact. A culture rooted in understanding, human relationships and kindness is not only supportive but also productive.

2. Encourage Authenticity
   Embrace diversity by allowing your team to bring their full selves to work, promoting a culture of openness and acceptance.

3. Invest in Growth and Development
   Provide continuous learning opportunities that empower employees to grow, ensuring they feel valued and equipped to succeed.

4. Share stories and celebrate success
   Highlight achievements and share stories to foster pride, build camaraderie, and reinforce a culture of recognition and appreciation.

5. Coach leaders to be role models and call them out when they aren’t

6. Don’t tell people how to behave
   Behaviour isn’t black and white - instead suggest boundaries what’s too much what’s not enough.

Do you want to know a secret?

Do you want to know a secret?

Sometimes you try something new, sometimes it doesn't work out . . .

Sometimes the big shiny new opportunity turns out not to be so big and shiny after all . . .

Sometimes you have to admit you made a mistake and you loved and miss what you had before...

So can you guess my secret yet?

I'M BACK!

I'm relaunching my own business because I love helping:
- leaders to grow thriving, innovative and successful businesses
- managers to build happy, engaged and resilient teams.
- people to build confidence, communication and interpersonal skills

Over the next few days, I'll be posting more about my plans and what I've learned this year... so keep your eyes peeled.

The Guardian - New Years's Resolutions

I was pleased to be invited by The Guardian newspaper to provide some tips on how to eliminate work stress by establishing healthy work/life boundaries for an article in their end of year Saturday magazine on positive New Year’s Resolutions. You can read all 15 tips on health, fitness, drinking and life from experts here: The Guardian 15 ways to change your life without trying all that hard

My tip:

Don’t aim to eliminate work stress – establish healthy work/life boundaries

It can be hard to set boundaries between work and your personal life, especially when we are working from home or constantly available via email. Use your phone’s “do not disturb” function to turn off notifications from work contacts in the evening and days off. If you work away from home, use the return journey to reflect, think about the good things that happened that day and let go of more challenging aspects, while exploring what could be different next time. Writing this down can help to get it out of your head, even if you wake up in the night worrying about work. Use the notes or reminder function on your phone, or carry a notebook to write down the things you need to do tomorrow – and let it go until then.

How to: Reflective Goal Setting for a Succesful 2024

Reflective Goal Setting for a Succesful 2024 - A How to Guide

The end of the year and the festive break is a natural time to pause and reflect on the past year and consider the year ahead, both for you as an individual and for your business and team. 

Time off work over Christmas is the perfect pause we need to take time to step back from the busyness of our daily lives, to reflect on what is important to us and to set the tone for the year ahead. I encourage you to set aside time to reflect and plan - individually or with your colleagues.

This article explores the benefits of reflective goal setting for both our personal and business success and growth. Read on to find some useful prompts to reflect, grow self-awareness, and clarify your hopes, ambitions and plans for the year ahead.

The power of reflection

Reflection is a powerful tool to find closure on the things that have happened over the last 12 months - personally and professionally.

Reflection isn’t just a retrospective exercise - it will pave the way for setting impactful goals and steering yourself or your businesses toward success in 2024. By increasing your self-awareness, you will be able will be able to move into 2024 stronger and more confident.

As the motivational speaker Ed Foreman says “If we always do what we’ve always done, then we’re going to get what we’ve always got.” So building self-awareness helps to identify patterns that may be keeping you stuck.

Reflecting on everything you have achieved over the last year encourages you (individually or collectively) to celebrate successes. While acknowledging challenges and failures, helps to develop a growth mindset - in other words, to look for opportunities to change and improve.

If there are things that didn’t go so well or that you feel were failures - try to shift your perspective to recognise what you learned from the experience. Changing our perspective allows us to release old patterns, that no longer serve us - try to see things from through fresh eyes. Try not to take the role of victim and things happening TO us, - we can’t control other people, but we can control how we respond. So put yourself in the driving seat, empower yourself and take responsibility for making things happen or making changes in the year ahead.

Once you’re reflected, it’s time to think to the future - dream big and plan your year ahead.

The benefit of setting goals

• Enhanced Clarity and Focus: Goal setting helps to clarify priorities and focus on achieving them.

• Adaptability and Resilience: By learning from past experiences, you will become more adaptable and resilient in the face of challenges.

• Increased Motivation: Clear goals derived from reflection provide motivation and a sense of purpose, driving you and your to perform at their best.

How to reflect on the past and set goals for the future

Change your Perspective

Take yourself out of your usual environment - that’s why using the holiday period is valuable because we are free from the usual pressures of work. If you are doing this exercise for your business and with colleagues - get out of the office - go for a team walk, or go and talk over a coffee or lunch.

Get outdoors 

Personally, I find time outside - walking, running, cycling or just strolling and chatting with a friend, encourages our brains to slow down. It helps us to feel grounded, and gain perspective - reassessing our worries, enabling us to see the bigger picture and recognise what really matters.

Remove Distractions

Create the time and space to do this free of distractions - turn off your phone Focus on your breathing for a few minutes before you start to slow your brain down and bring yourself to the present moment.

Write it down

The process can be a gentle reflective thought process, making notes for yourself or having a discussion with colleagues. I recommend putting pen to paper, it helps to frame the reflections and make your goals concrete. There’s plenty of research that proves that people who write down their goals and objectives are more successful in achieving them.

Business and Team Goals

If you are setting goals for your business or team involve them in the process, and make it a collaborative process to foster a collective commitment. Communicate your grand vision and ask them what theirs is. Agree shared objectives and what everyone’s role is in achieving them. Set milestones and celebrate small successes along the way.

Steps to Reflect and Set Goals for 2024.

1. Start by reviewing the past year.

• Reflect on some or all of the following:
  - your personal and family life

  - your career

  - your wellness, work-life balance and how you have looked after your mental and physical health

• What have been the highlights of your year? 

• What made you happy this year and when were you happiest?

• What are you most grateful for?

• What have been your biggest successes? - try and come up with at least three. 

• What are you most proud of?

• How did you achieve these successes? 

• What’s the biggest risk you took? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned?

• Identify Lessons Learned

• Is there anything that you didn’t achieve or that you feel you failed at?

• What were the biggest challenges of the year?

• How did you react and cope in the face of these challenges

• What have you learned as a result?

• Is there anything you wish you could have done differently — forgive yourself and leave it behind.

2. Set Goals for 2024

• Start with the end of in mind - your vision - where would you like to be this time next year? 

• Dream your biggest dream. If you could wave a magic wand what would you like to happen?

• What would you like to be celebrating 12 months from now - a new job? A new home? A new business launch?

• What really matters to you? What gets you out of bed in the morning?

• What are the things that make you happy and you need to prioritise this year?

• What should you start doing more of? (e.g. exercising, seeing family, learning something new)

• What should you do less of? (e.g. kicking a bad habit, being less hard on yourself)

• What challenges might there be along the way?

• How can I try to overcome these challenges?

• Who do you need help from and what other resources might you need?

• How will you look after your well-being - your mental and physical health? Are there new boundaries or habits you want to establish - e.g. making more time for exercise or eating better, or setting new boundaries e.g. being disciplined about not checking work emails during your time off?

 3. Define Clear Objectives

With the insights gained, define clear, achievable objectives for the upcoming year. These goals should be SMART—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. They should align with the company’s mission and vision, driving growth and progress.

Next write down the specific tasks and actions you need to make these goals happen.

In Summary

• Use the holidays too make time to unplug, switch off and reflect on the year we’re about to leave behind.

• Let go of anything that was difficult or challenging, but take what you learned with you.

• Consider what you want to achieve in the year ahead.

• Set some time-frames and measures for success.

• Write it all down somewhere you won’t lose it and pull it out monthly or at least a few times during the year ahead to see how you are getting on.

• Celebrate the small steps and milestones along the way and don’t be too hard on yourself about things that don’t go to plan.

My Personal Reflections

As I write this, I have looked back at the goals I set myself on New Year’s Eve last year - many of them have come to fruition - I have established my coaching and leadership development business and have worked with some fantastic individuals and businesses.

I found the courage to resign from a contract that this time last year, was filling me with dread and making me very unhappy, however well paid it was!

I am in the process of buying my own home and moving to Bristol to start a new life.
I have a nearly 365-day streak of learning Spanish on Duolingo!

I supported my son through A-levels and starting university.

I’ve been to dozens of gigs and a handful of music festivals.

And I have spent more time with family, old friends and made lots of new friends too.

Now, I wonder what I’m going to set as my goals for 2024…