How to Cope with Stress

How to Cope with Stress

Christmas is inevitably one of the busiest and most stressful periods for people at work and at home. We have tasks to complete tasks, objectives to achieve or just a sense that we need to get things done before the end of the year.

How do you manage stress and build resilience for you and your team?

Pressure versus Stress

It’s important to remember that there is a difference between pressure and stress. Just like Goldilocks, we want ‘just right’ pressure - not too little and not too much.

When there’s no pressure and we aren’t busy enough feeling, we may feel bored, disengaged and undervalued. While we’re in our comfort zone we are just coasting and have the potential to feel apathetic. But when we experience the ‘just right’ level of pressure we feel focused, alert, stimulated, energetic, motivated and engaged.

There’s a fine line between too the ‘just right’ pressure and too much and that tipping point is going to be different for different people. Be aware of that when you’re thinking about your colleagues and staff.

When we feel stressed we start to make mistakes, feel out of control, become irritable, anxious and experience low morale. In time this can cumulate to cause exhaustion, needing time off and ultimately burnout and mental health issues.

As well as the impact on an individual, the business will suffer from increased staff absence and high turnover. The data is well reported elsewhere.

1. Put your own oxygen mask on first

It’s vital to start with yourself, just as on an airplane we are instructed to put our own oxygen mask on first.

We all need to keep an eye on our personal fuel gauge - just as running out of petrol is bad for your car, letting our own wellness tank run on empty is bad for us.

It is normal to feel pressure and even stress for short periods, but it’s important to recognise when it’s too much it and try to build resilience. Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things are difficult or don’t go as planned. Resilient people don’t dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn, and then move forward stronger.

2. Pause and accept how you feel

Be aware of how you feel, your emotions and energy levels and be aware of when you are tipping into the strain or stress zone. Recognise any physical symptoms that are your body’s own warning signs - fast heartbeat, short breathing, knotted stomach or poor sleep.



Pause, recognise and accept how you are feeling.
You can’t always choose the situation that is going on around you at home or work and you can’t choose your emotional response, but you can make choices about how you deal with it.

See the big picture
When we feel stressed our brains are hard-wired to overreact, our perceptions can be warped, we might feel that the world is against us and we might respond by going into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Take a bird's eye view - What do you see from up there? Does it look any different? What would your wisest and kindest friend advise you? How much will this matter a month from now? What about next year?

3. Focus on what you can control

Become aware of how much time and energy you spend worrying about things you can’t control or can’t change. This will help to reduce stress, frustration and overwhelm.

Start by writing a list of your worries and stress and then separate them between:

• Things you can directly control - your own actions or behaviours

• Things you can influence (in other words you can’t control other people or company-wide decisions but you might be able to influence them)

• Things that are completely out of your control

If you focus on what is within your control you can shift your attention, be more proactive and productive.

This concept of Circles of Control was popularised by Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

4. Avoid, Alter, Accept Adapt

Once you’ve identified the causes of your stress, you have four options:

1. AVOID - Know your limits and try to stick to them. If you are asked to take on more than you can manage, or asked to do one too many things, can you learn to say no? It’s not easy to say no, especially if are short-staffed, but can you at least start the conversation and explore reprioritising tasks or reallocating them?

2. ALTER - if you can’t avoid the pressure or stressful situation, work out what you can do to change it. Sometimes this involves expressing your feelings instead of bottling them up. Be open about your limits. Remember to use "I" statements, as in, "I feel frustrated by being asked to take this on. Is there something we can do to balance things out?" Is there anything you can do to manage your time better? Block out time to focus on specific tasks and try and avoid interruptions, and group certain tasks together into chunks of time.

3. ADAPT - Can adapt to the pressures by reframing problems and trying to see the positives. What are you grateful for? Let go of perfectionism and recognise when good is good enough.

4. ACCEPT - Many sources of stress are unavoidable and you just have to accept them and deal with them. If you find that hard, is there someone you can talk to? Sometimes changing your surroundings just for a minute can help break out of a sense of powerlessness. Opening up to someone else can also reduce stress because it helps to distance ourselves from it and gain perspective.

5. Make time to decompress

Make sure you give yourself the time and the space to decompress. When we’re exhausted from work, it’s easy to stop looking after ourselves outside work, especially if you are getting home late at night or if you work from home and there aren't any boundaries.

Use your journey home from work to reflect, think about the good things that happened today, and let go of the difficult things while exploring what could be different next time. Writing stuff down can help to get it out of your head, even if you wake up in the middle of the night worrying about work, use the Notes or reminder function on your phone or carry a good old-fashioned notebook, to write down the things you need to do tomorrow, then let it go until tomorrow.

Make sure you try and make time to rest and relax, do something you enjoy every day whatever that may be for you - from walking your dog or meeting a friend for coffee. Make time to connect with friends and family outside work. Time spent outside and exercising is essential for our wellbeing as is eating well, staying hydrated and good sleep.

It’s not easy to switch off when we are constantly available via email or messages pop up on WhatsApp. Use your phone's “do not disturb functions’ to turn off notifications from work contacts when you’re not in work.

Any small steps you can take will help you to build resilience and cope with stress.

6. Supporting your staff’s wellness

When it comes to your staff, invest time in their wellbeing and create a supportive environment that considers the whole person and treats them as individuals.

On a day-to-day basis encourage positive relationships between colleagues and foster a supportive atmosphere where people are kind to each other and listen and support each other. Doing nice things for other people releases oxytocin which makes you feel good about yourself.

Foster a culture that promotes a good work-life balance. Encourage people to take breaks, leave on time and take their holiday allowance. Promote the importance of self-care: rest, relaxation, exercise, diet and sleep.

Proactively monitor everyone’s workload. Make sure that work is clearly defined, is well-matched to their abilities and that deadlines are acceptable.

If you work on a shift/rota basis: Strive to get staffing levels and rotas right, try to ensure rotas are fair and considerate to everyone, especially during the busy and sometimes unpredictable Christmas season - it’s the key to maintaining a happy and motivated workforce.

Provide rotas as far ahead as possible so that people can plan and enjoy their days off. Be as flexible as you can be allowing people to swap shifts within reason, and make it acceptable to take sick leave for mental health challenges.

Keep communicating – make time to talk to your staff and regularly check-in with them individually and privately. Be transparent with staff about what is going on in the business and be honest with them - for example about reasons why you may need them to take on more work. Mutual trust is the number one factor in creating a positive culture and relationship between manager and staff.

Foster a culture where people can come and talk to you and share their problems inside or outside work. Ask open questions, listen and be respectful and ask them what they need from you, whether that’s more support or training, time-off (for mental or physical health) or sign-posting to professional advice.

Finally, look out for staff who are struggling and ask them what they need. You can’t force them to change or seek help, but be aware that there are lots of resources and sources of support out there for people who are struggling.

If you would like to talk to someone about how to deal with stress, manage your workload, build resilience, and support your team, please get in touch. I offer a free 30 minute coaching session to explore how I can support you. You can email me polly@pollyrobinson.co.uk

10 Ways to build a happy, engaged and motivated team

10 Ways to build a happy, engaged and motivated team

When you think about how much of our time is spent at work, it’s only natural that we want to enjoy that time, we want it to be meaningful and have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. No one is going to be committed to a job that is always stressful, boring, monotonous, or where we feel unappreciated. We want to have good relationships with the people we work with, to feel that our work has a purpose, that we are valued and recognised and that our time at work is fun. These are core needs which drive employee engagement. 

Employee Engagement matters because happy staff equal happy customers. It drives higher productivity and ultimately a more successful business. It boosts retention and reduces stress. Paying someone a competitive salary is not enough to ensure that they are engaged, loyal and committed to their job.

What do we mean by employee engagement?

A simple definition of employee engagement is the ‘emotional commitment’ that someone has to their work and the organisation. It’s how emotionally involved and loyal they are to the business, colleagues and customers. That emotional commitment is what drives people to go above and beyond their job description to create a memorable moment of hospitality for your guests.

So what can you do to build an engaged team?

10 Ways to boost engagement

1. Shared Purpose and Values
   Engagement starts with having a shared purpose, bringing everyone together around the reason you exist. Managers need to connect employees with the mission and vision of the organisation by connecting their work to the bigger picture. Instead of focusing on the day-to-day tasks, highlight how you want to make a difference to your customers and deliver a memorable experience. Do your team know why you are all there? What does your organisation want to be known for, how is your business special and how are you going to achieve that together? If you can communicate the vision with your team, the ‘WHY’, and give them the opportunity to contribute to the ‘HOW’ then you will build commitment. A culture where people have a sense of how they are part of creating something amazing.

2. Build a Community

   A positive culture is an enigmatic thing. It’s a community which comes together around shared values. Values are how you behave as a business, what you believe in, and how you treat each other and your customers. Define these values and communicate them on a regular basis. Seeking your staff’s contribution to defining values is even better. Values aren’t just a list of words written up in the staff room or handbook, they have to be authentic and demonstrated in everything you do. An employee will feel connected to their job when their personal values align well with the organisation’s values, so when hiring new staff communicate your values and explore if there is a match, and then reinforce them every day.

3. Positive Relationships

   The number one reason people leave a job is because they don’t get on with their manager. The relationship between a manager and employee is vital, as is fostering good relationships between peers. Managers should communicate with their team regularly, Check in with your staff on a daily basis with a focussed “How are you?” (rather than just a casual greeting) - ask questions and practice active listening. Make time for one-to-ones as well as team meetings. Consider the whole person, ask people what motivates them, and what their passions are to get a sense of how fulfilled people are in their roles.

4. Trust and Mutual Respect

   In a culture where there is mutual trust and respect, staff trust leaders to make the best decisions and leaders trust staff to do their best work without needing to micromanage. When you give people responsibility and autonomy they are likely to exceed your expectations. Employees who feel comfortable expressing themselves are more engaged, so aim to create an environment where people feel comfortable approaching you with ideas or concerns. Be transparent, honest and consistent as a leader. Respect everyone and treat everyone the same whether they are full or part-time. Deal with conflict in the moment rather than sweeping it under the carpet and letting it fester.

5. Recognition
   It’s human to want to feel seen, heard and valued. You can work as hard as you can, and be the best you can be, but if you don’t feel seen and heard, you will lose motivation and become disengaged. When we’re busy it is easy to forget to acknowledge people. On a daily basis, encourage people with a simple smile, celebrate success with a high-five, thank people at the end of a shift and highlight positive achievements to the whole team. 

6. Growth and Development

   People don’t just leave a job for more money - they leave because they’re not challenged, because they’re not learning and because they don’t see an opportunity for career development. We all have a natural curiosity to discover and learn new things. What opportunities do you offer for personal and professional growth and development? How do you support your staff to be the best they can be? This might be skills training for the job or mentoring from a colleague to develop soft skills. It might be giving formal or informal feedback to encourage people to push themselves forward or it could be talking about their future in the business.

7. Wellbeing

   Plenty has been written about the importance of looking after your staff’s well-being. When people feel stressed or that the balance of their life and work is wrong they become disengaged. Strive to establish the right work-life balance: encourage people to take breaks, monitor overtime and raise a flag if someone is doing too much. Try to set a manageable workload with the right balance of challenge and interest and ensure that they have the right tools, equipment and training for their job. Create an environment where people feel they can talk to someone about any issues they are experiencing in or outside work. Signpost people to additional support if needed.

8. Flexibility

   Flexibility means giving your staff the opportunity to enjoy their life outside of work as much as possible.
Flexibility on rotas isn’t easy to achieve but be aware of what other commitments people have outside work, whether that’s childcare or studying. Try to provide rotas with as much notice as possible, and avoid last-minute changes so people can plan their time away from work.
It’s estimated that around 30% of hospitality workers leave in the first 90 days because the job isn’t what they expected, so be transparent with new starters about expectations and the reality of the role.

9.  Fair reward

   A secure income is obviously important to people, not least during this cost of living crisis. The industry has seen higher average pay rises than the national average. But while businesses are under their own financial pressures what else can you do to reward people for their commitment? Do you also offer incentives for higher performance, a benefits scheme (from pensions to perks). Financial bonuses, gifts or a hand-written note for high performance or going above and beyond are all meaningful ways to reward staff.

10. Fun

    We spend more of our waking hours at work than out of it, so it needs to be fun. Managers should encourage fun and promote a relaxed environment where people can enjoy a laugh together. Social events are a great way to form genuine connections, that may be a staff meal, a casual after-work drink or a more organised staff party.

The Crucial Role of Effective Management: Insights from CMI Research

The Crucial Role of Effective Management: Insights from CMI Research

People don’t leave companies, they leave managers. New research from the Chartered Management Institute (CMI) has highlighted the impact that managers have on employee’s motivation, job satisfaction, and their desire to stay with an organisation. A good leader brings people together to drive toward a common goal.

The CMI report Taking Responsibility - Why the UK Needs Better Managers conducted in partnership with YouGov reveals:


• One in four of the UK workforce holds a management role

• Only just over a quarter (27%) of employees describe their manager as highly effective.

• Half (50%) of those who don’t rate their manager say they plan to leave their company in the next Only 34% feel motivated to do a good job.

The significance of effective managers becomes evident when considering the impact on employee loyalty.

• 72% of workers who rated their managers as effective felt valued and appreciated.

• Conversely, only 15% of those with ineffective managers felt similarly valued.

Accidental Managers

Managing a team of people is something that we often fall into. We get promoted because of our skill or ability, because we are technically competent and suddenly we are responsible for other people with no support or guidance about how to be a manager.

Good management and leadership practices are linked to improved performance, higher retention rates, the creation of positive work environments (culture), and the achievement of business objectives

The report confirms that many people are ‘Accidental Managers’ promoted just because they are “popular, good at their job, or happen to be available to take charge.”

• 82% of people who enter management positions have not had any proper management and leadership training.

• Nearly half, 46% of managers believe colleagues won promotions based on internal relationships and profile, rather than their ability and performance.

The research found a consistent link between managers who had received management training and more effective organisations. Many people surveyed emphasised that without adequate management and leadership development, they lack the confidence to perform their roles and deliver results effectively.

Meanwhile, managers who had received training, said that they ask their team members for feedback, are more comfortable with managing big changes, and are also able to leverage technology to improve efficiency.

In conclusion, the CMI's research shines a spotlight on the pivotal role of effective management in fostering a positive work environment, employee satisfaction, and strategic success. It also highlights the pressing need for comprehensive management and leadership development programmes to equip future leaders with the skills and knowledge required to excel in their roles. It's time to invest in better management practices to shape the future of work.

Why is Management and Leadership Important?

This report demonstrates a clear need for more training not only for new and emerging managers but also for experienced ones. Management is not just a title or a position; it's a set of skills and qualities that can be honed and developed over time. Leadership training plays a pivotal role in shaping individuals into successful leaders. Let's explore what leadership training can achieve.

What is the impact and benefit of management training?

1. Goal Setting and Vision

   Improves strategic focus by ensuring that everyone is pulling in the same direction. Teaches goal-setting techniques and strategic planning, enabling leaders to inspire their teams with a compelling vision for the future.


2. Decision-Making and Problem-Solving
   Instills effective decision-making frameworks and problem-solving methodologies, ensuring that leaders can navigate challenges with confidence.


3. Enhanced Self-awareness
   Leadership training often begins with self-assessment. It encourages individuals to reflect on their strengths, weaknesses, and personal values. When leaders understand themselves better, they can relate to their teams more authentically and make informed decisions.


4. Reduce Turnover and Boost Retention
   Build a positive community where people feel heard, valued and appreciated. In turn they will be more loyal and committed.

5. Build a Strong Culture and High-Performing Teams

   Discover insights into team dynamics, motivation techniques, and strategies for building a positive and collaborative work culture.


6. Increase Productivity and Efficiency 

   Improves time management and prioritisation by equipping managers with techniques to maximise productivity, delegate tasks, and focus on what matters most.


7. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

   Support managers to be more emotionally intelligent and improve self-awareness, confidence and relationships with others.


8. Improve Communication Skills
   Equip individuals with the tools and techniques to communicate expectations, give feedback and resolve conflicts. Better communication fosters trust and transparency within the team.

9. Build Resilience and Adaptability 

   Helps leaders to embrace change, stay resilient in the face of setbacks, and lead their teams through uncertainty.


10. Continuous Improvement
    Fosters a growth mindset, where leaders are open to learning, feedback, and self-improvement.

Polly Robinson is an Executive Coach and Leadership Development Trainer.
She designs and develops bespoke management and leadership training programmes as well as offering some online leadership workshops for anyone to join.

"Hospitality is the "Power of Human Connection" - Dame Karen Jones

Inspiring words from Dame Karen Jones, chair of both the Hawksmoor and Mowgli restaurant chains, senior independent director at Deliveroo and who founded casual dining chain Café Rouge in 1989. During the Pandemic, she worked closely with ministers and was the only hospitality representative on the government's Build Back Better business council. She was made a dame in the Queen's Birthday Honours List 2022 for her services to business and the hospitality industry.

People are at the heart of every hospitality business.

Karen Jones spoke at the Propel Hospitality Talent & Training Conference on Tuesday she said:

Hospitality is the lynch pin of society. We realised how much we missed it during lock down.

She reminded us that the holy grail of hospitality is:

The power of the moment of human connection that keeps your customers coming back again and again.

When asked about what attracted her to working in hospitality she said it was the

• Excitement hospitality can give

• The pleasure of looking after people

• Lovely colleagues who are fun, high energy, innovative and entrepreneurial

She went on to talk about that elusive "hospitality gene" found in people who just get the excitement and buzz of hospitality and love the pleasure of looking after people. The million dollar question is: is the hospitality gene innate or can you teach it? Karen Jones believes that you can. An employer needs to explain what hospitality is all about - the hard technical skills and soft communication skills can be learned later.

The Importance of Culture

Culture is hard to define she said, it’s more complex than “your people just doing the right things when people are looking.”

Culture is that feeling it gives you.

She defined CULTURE as the 'feeling it gives you' built on 4 pillars:

1. Being clear about the culture you want to create and knowing and communicating your values.

2. Genuinely caring about your people. Remember everyone is different: different backgrounds, different outlooks and with different ambitions. Culture is about trying to weld them into a whole through daily decisions that strengthen not weaken the culture.

3. Not expecting people to do things in their work life that they wouldn’t do in their personal life

4. Always delivering on what you say you will.

How to define your Values to build Culture

Karen Jones emphasised that your values have to be what you genuinely believe in. Values should be driven by the business founders or leaders, not outsourced to a consultant. Create a Mission and Vision statement that communicates your purpose and values. This is the time for leaders to be quite direct - your team need something to hang their hat on.

Keep your values simple and easy to articulate. If you can't remember them or say them clearly, they're too long and complicated. Use the one-sentence test! Can you say what you stand for in one simple sentence?

You know your values have caught fire when people start using them and talking about them. Then they start to drive behaviours.

4 Crucial Factors to Retaining Employees

Building on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Karen Jones identified four blocks to retention, without these things you will never get people to stay in your business.

1. PAY - You can’t do a good job if you are worrying about how you are going to pay the rent.

2. SAFETY & SECURITY - If I do well will I be secure?

3. WORK LIFE BALANCE - long hours and low pay are the worst things. Our cognitive ability is affected by stress and the main causes of stress are fair pay and scheduling.

4. CAREER ADVANCEMENT - how do I get my foot on the next rung of the ladder?

How does Hospitality improve diversity, inclusion and equality?

Asma Khan, owner of Darjeeling Express and star of Netflix’s Chef’s Table, has written widely about her experience of starting her restaurant. She says she believed it would never be possible to run a business in a world that she described as "an all white, all male club." She said, if she had a daughter, she would seriously discourage her from a career in hospitality, where kitchens are all too often "a toxic testosterone-fuelled environment."

This last point obviously resonated strongly for me after my then 17-year old daughter announced that she wanted to be a chef. We talked seriously about what a tough career choice that was, especially for woman. We talked about how life as a chef almost completely incompatible with being a mother and how the majority of kitchens remain a very male and macho environment. Needless to say, like all good teenagers, she listened to my advice and chose to ignore me!

At the Propel Hospitality Talent and Training Conference in London on Tuesday 3 October, Asma Khan moved me to tears as she spoke, as she has done before when talking about her incredible work establishing a cafe in a refugee camp in northern Iraq employing traumatised Yazidi women.

This time she spoke about how she still feels like an outsider in the world of hospitality, but she’s learned to see it as an advantage. She talked about how food not only has the power to bring us together, but is also a cause of division. She said in India “Food is main way people are divided” by religion and caste. At her restaurant Khan employs women from all backgrounds, religions and ages and abilities. Everyone is welcome and everyone is equal “We put our religion and our caste at the door, we celebrate every festival. We are a team.

A diverse team gives you strength

Asma Khan believes that you strengthen your team by having a diverse team and urged all businesses build a diverse workplace.

Hiring a diverse team is key to inspiring the next generation in hospitality.

Her advice:

• Understand you are a team

• Be empathetic and let people know that they matter

• Offer flexible work and reduce the hours

Darjeeling Express is a model of what a diverse workplace can be.

However, the reality of diversity in the hospitality sector is different as demonstrated by Be Inclusive Hospitality's 2023 Inside Hospitality Report , a comprehensive account of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion in hospitality through a race lens and whic includes 3,120 views and experiences captured encompass all backgrounds, genders, ages, jobs, and lengths of service.

The report says 1 in 3 respondents report personal experiences of discrimination at work and that only 16% of hospitality workers believe it’s an inclusive and diverse industry.

I was honoured to host a crucial discussion in The Restaurant Show with:

• Lorraine Copes Be Inclusive Hospitality award-winning social entrepreneur, hospitality consultant and life coach. Lorraine has two decades as an executive director for brands including Gordon Ramsay Restaurants and Corbin & King, but felt compelled to form Be Inclusive Hospitality CIC in 2020 due to the consistent lack of representation of people of colour in positions of influence and the supply chain. This social enterprise now holds the prime position of igniting much-needed conversations and delivering initiatives to advance change within the hospitality, food, and drink sectors.

• Mecca Ibrahim co-founder of Women In The Food Industry, a Community Interest Company for conversation, insight, stories, resources & community support as women in food face obstacles of inequality & inclusion.

• Chris Todd Head of Talent JKS Restaurants a former chef who now oversees all recruitment and talent initiatives across JKS’s portfolio of 22 restaurants including Trishna, Gymkhana, Kitchen Table, Sabor and Lyle’s; Hoppers, BAO, Brigadiers.

We agreed that more needs to be done to change the perception of working in Hospitality. The sector has improved but we need to blow our own trumpet more to shout over the stereotypes portrayed in TV shows like Boiling Point and The Bear. Education is key. We need to get young children interested in food and hospitality and work with parents, schools and colleges to show it’s an amazing career for life, not just a stop-gap.

Who wants to work in hospitality? Debate at the Abergavenny Food Festival

The hospitality sector employs around 10% of the UK workforce, according to the Office for National Statistics.

Yet it’s not news that hospitality is facing a recruitment crisis and roles like chefs, remain challenging to fill which is restricting businesses from operating at anywhere near their full capacity.

• 61% of hospitality businesses are experiencing staff shortages and widely reduced their trading hours and days as a result. UKHospitality, the industry body estimates that vacancies are costing businesses £21bn in unmet demand and lost revenue.

• ONS figures announced August vacancies in accommodation and food service activities fell for the fourth month in a row, to 127,000 - but still significantly higher than before the pandemic

• British workers make up just over half of the workforce while staff from outside the UK have historically made up more than 40 per cent of the hospitality workforce - but we’ve lost nearly 200,000 international workers since the end of 2019.

• Research from August / September 2022 of pubs/restaurants and hotels saw more people leaving the sector than during COVID-19.

Any successful hospitality business's most valuable asset is a committed team - so recruitment and retention are vital.

On 16th September, I hosted a fascinating panel discussion to a packed-out audience at Abergavenny Food Festival to discuss how to recruit and retain staff in hospitality.

We had fantastic contributions and different perspectives from brilliant panellists:

• Jeremy Lee, Chef Owner of Soho institution Quo Vadis;

• Pervin Todiwala co-owner of Café Spice Namaste which she founded with her husband Cyrus.

• Murf - Anthony Murphy co-founder of The Beefy Boys which started as a hobby with four friends winning the best burger in the world before opening their first restaurant in Hereford, then Shrewsbury and if you’ve seen Tom Kerridge’s brilliant series Hidden World of Hospitality - opened in Cheltenham earlier this year.

• David Chapman Director for Wales from UKHospitality. He is a champion of the sector, and regularly lobbies government and provides advice and guidance.

We explored the idea that in other countries, hospitality is seen as a prestigious career for life, a skilled job which is respected and well-rewarded. Yet, in this country, there is a deeply ingrained belief that hospitality is not a viable career. This perception is fuelled by media portrayals of shouty chefs like Gordan Ramsey, high-stress workplaces in The Bear and a hotbed of mental health issues and addiction as seen in Boiling Point.

One thing is clear: hospitality can offer a fantastic career, full of brilliant people but it’s tough.

Perspectives of the industry need to shift, and leadership behaviours and expectations of staff need to change. Sure, they are slowly, but there’s some way to go. It’s an immensely complex subject: we touched on Tronc/tips, VAT, Brexit and education- huge subjects in themselves. We could have talked all day.

25 Years of the Abergavenny Food Festival

This year Abergavenny Food Festival celebrated its 25th year. I think that I’ve been to at least 15 of those years!

It is always the highlight of my year, discovering wonderful new food and drink producers, tasting and enjoying amazing food, seeing old friends and making new friends every year. The Festisval is not just an excuse for a party though, at its heart it remains true to the ethos on which it was founded which is to celebrate the local food economy and to raise awareness of crucial themes around food from sustainability and the environment, food education, and eating for health.

The spirit of the Abergavenny Food Festival was captured in this brilliant BBC Radio 4 Food Programme “Abergavenny at 25” first broadcast on 25 September and available to listen to on BBC Sounds.

Mastering Performance Management: 10 Tips to giving feedback

One of the most challenging things about becoming a manager is building the confidence to give effective feedback to your team. Delivering positive or negative feedback can feel daunting, you might not want to come across as soft and gushing, worry about being critical and being disliked, or just giving feedback that is unhelpful and demotivating.

FEEDBACK CREATES A CULTURE WHERE PEOPLE FEEL VALUED

In hospitality, people are our greatest asset and so, of course, their performance and attitude are central to the customer experience and business success. Giving regular feedback creates a virtuous circle of development and improvement.

So giving feedback is crucial to keeping your team on track, boosting quality and performance, to avoiding or repeating mistakes, and giving people the opportunity to grow and develop. When delivered well it can be inspiring and motivating. Creating a culture at work where feedback is a regular habit will strengthen relationships and boost retention. A feedback culture helps employees feel valued and heard, promotes accountability and encourages people to take an active role in their own development.

Feedback can be formal and planned as part of a one-to-one conversation or regular performance review or it can be informal and ad hoc, but remember that the quality of the feedback is more important than the frequency.

HOW TO DELIVER EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK

There’s a huge difference in impact between giving feedback badly or well. Badly delivered feedback can sound judgemental, vague or intangible, and saved up until it becomes irrelevant, an irritation or a resentment.

Phrases like “Why didn’t you do that?”, “Why did that happen?”, “You never do this”, “You should do that” or worst of all “If I were you…” (Nobody likes a know-all!) This will create a defensive response and people will tune out and switch off.

TOP 10 TIPS FOR DELIVERING EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK

1. SPECIFIC AND UNBIASED

The sweet spot is to deliver feedback (and I’m talking about both positive and negative feedback here) that is specific, unbiased and descriptive. A useful way to remember this is with the acronym: AID - which stands for:

• Action

• Impact

• Direction.

Start by objectively describing the action, what did or didn’t happen, explain the impact of that and then explore together how to move forward, make sure it doesn’t happen again or make it even better next time. Rather than making assumptions use phrases like “I noticed” or “I believe”. e.g.

“When the handover to the next team shift wasn’t done, I noticed the impact was that this task got forgotten.”

2. FEED FORWARD NOT BACK

There’s a popular concept called “feed forward” which focuses not on what has happened in the past, you can’t change the past and focus instead on the future. It’s more effective to help people learn to be right than to prove that they were wrong and that people will respond much more positively, listening better and coming up with their own ideas for improvement. You can use examples and give suggestions and encouragement for improvement.

3. MAKE IT A DIALOGUE

Next, make a feedback discussion a conversation - a dialogue, not a monologue. Ask people what they felt or observed was the impact, use questions to raise their awareness and ask them how they think they could do better next time. This will show your commitment to helping the person improve, grow and develop.

4. IN THE MOMENT

Make feedback immediate, don’t save it up until it becomes an issue or resentment. Suppose you have a process of performance appraisals or reviews. In that case, it can be tempting to hold back until the next one, but giving feedback should be part of your everyday management of your staff - a continuous loop: agree on next steps and objectives, monitor and support, review and reward.

5. IN THE RIGHT SETTING

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Praise in public and criticise in private’. Public praise in front of peers and colleagues adds more weight to the praise, reinforces positive performance and encourages others to emulate. But if you have more critical feedback to give, it’s kinder to find a private place to talk and you are less likely to provoke a defensive response.

6. DELIVERED THOUGHTFULLY

Be aware of your words and your thoughts. Remember that communication happens on different levels - what you mean to say, what you actually say, what the receiver hears and how they interpret it. When giving feedback try to be a fair witness, an observer - so even if you think someone is stupid or lazy, you need to describe their behaviour and its actions on the rest of the team or your customers. Leave your personal opinions and judgment at the door.

7. DEALING WITH CHALLENGING SITUATIONS

And what if you have a more serious issue to deal with and are dreading a difficult conversation?

This is the time to not respond in haste or anger, take some to calm down, reflect and prepare for the conversation and be clear what you want to get out of it. Ask the person for a meeting and give them some time to prepare too. It may be helpful to ask someone else to sit in the meeting - e.g. someone from HR or operations. Make it clear that you are trying to find a way to move forward and find solutions together. Make sure that the meeting is noted for future reference and share it with them afterwards.

During the conversation try to regulate your emotions, getting angry will not help, describe the issue and its impact, be factual and specific. Avoid playing ‘You Tennis’ where you make the feedback very personal “You did that…”, “you are always late” and turn it into personal observations such as “I noticed that this happened and it had this impact” or “I’m aware that when you arrive late it means we’re behind all day.”

Then open up the conversation giving the recipient time to tell it from their perspective, listen and pause, before clarifying and summarising. Use phrases like “How do you feel about this?” Or “Is this a fair representation of what happened?”

8. PROBLEM SOLVE TOGETHER

Then move into problem-solving together, asking questions to mutually agree next steps and finally suggest a follow-up meeting. You can be clear about your exceptions and what improvement looks like.

In serious cases, it’s essential to make clear the consequences of continued performance or behaviour issues. This doesn’t mean threatening that they will lose their job, but could include a formal warning or losing a bonus.

9. FORMAL AND INFORMAL, REGULAR AND AD HOC

The practice of regular formal performance reviews once or twice a year is evolving. Any manager who has had to deliver these for a team will know how time-consuming they can be and the temptation to save up difficult subjects until they are long overdue discussions. Employees can dread these formal meetings and find them demotivating. As a result, many businesses are moving away from them towards less formal, more regular performance conversations.

If your company still has a process of formal appraisals, the same principles as giving informal feedback. It should be a dialogue, not a monologue. The discussion must be fair, specific, consistent and forward-looking apply. Use specific examples to illustrate both the positive and negative such as customer feedback or information from colleagues.

10. ASK QUESTIONS

A vital part of any appraisal conversation is to start by asking the employee how they think they are getting on and explore their aspirations what skills (hard or soft) they want to develop and what are their future aspirations.

Together you should agree on future goals and targets that are aligned with the company’s values and overall objectives, this way staff feel they have a role to play in the vision and ambition of the business. These objectives should be SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. Record them on paper or digitally then you can review progress regularly.

If you can create an environment where feedback is regular and a two-way conversation, you will create a culture where people feel motivated, supported and inspired to keep learning and growing.

Ten ways to boost staff retention

The Pandemic is blamed for triggering the Great Resignation, although the seeds were sown before that and the trend continues to impact business growth in the UK.

People now have a different relationship with work and how it fits their life and values and seek roles that are aligned with their personal values. This is fuelled by the number of vacancies in the job market, giving people plenty of options to change jobs if they are unsatisfied.

Business leaders I speak to in every sector, cite recruitment as the number one factor holding back their growth. So while it’s so hard to recruit, and the costs and time it takes to recruit and train new staff, how do you build a happy, committed and successful team who will stick with you through thick and thin?

Spoiler Alert: it’s not just about paying more!

The benefits of improving employee retention

• Improves productivity - when employees are committed and happy they are more likely to be focused, efficient and go above and beyond.

• Boosts customer satisfaction

• Knowledge and skill stay in your business.

• Saves money by reducing the time and cost of recruitment and training.

• Improves morale through a better sense of consistency and community

If you want to explore more about employee engagement and retention join my free online workshop on Thursday 7 October. How to build a happy, engaged & resilient team Sign up via my website and I’ll send you a link to join us on Zoom.

HOW TO MEASURE TURNOVER AND RETENTION

Leaders should monitor turnover and retention on a regular basis. Here’s how to measure both:

The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development defines Employee Turnover as:
“Employee turnover refers to the proportion of employees who leave an organisation over a set period (often on a year-on-year basis), expressed as a percentage of total workforce numbers.”

And Employee Retention is “the number of retained employees, measured as the proportion of employees with a specified length of service (typically one year or more) expressed as a percentage of overall workforce.”

TEN WAYS TO BOOST RETENTION

1. COMMUNITY & CULTURE

Building an engaged team begins with creating a connection and a community and a culture around a common purpose and values. This creates a sense of belonging and commitment.

Researchers at McKinsey say that employees "want a renewed and revised sense of purpose in their work. They want social and interpersonal connections with their colleagues and managers. They want to feel a sense of shared identity. They want meaningful – though not necessarily in-person – interactions, not just transactions.”

Values are how you behave as a business, what you believe in, and how you treat each other and your customers. Define these values and communicate them on a regular basis. Values aren’t just a list of words written up in the staff room or handbook, they have to be authentic and demonstrated in everything you do. An employee will feel connected to their job when their personal values align with the organisation’s values, so when hiring new staff communicate your values and explore if there is a match, and then reinforce them every day.

2. RELATIONSHIPS & TRUST

The number one reason people leave a job is because they don’t get on with their manager. Start by developing your emotional intelligence (EQ) to become more self-aware of the impact that you have on the people around you, and to be able to connect with and empathise with everyone as individuals.

It’s all about building mutual trust and respect, so staff trust leaders to make the best decisions and leaders trust staff to do their best work without needing to micromanage.

Check-in with your staff on a daily basis with a focused “How are you?” (rather than just a casual greeting). Make time for one-to-ones as well as team meetings - ask questions and practice active listening.

Deal with conflict in the moment rather than sweeping it under the carpet and letting it fester.

3. GIVE RECOGNITION

It’s human to want to feel seen, heard and valued. You can work as hard as you can, be the best you can be, but if you don’t feel seen and heard, you will lose motivation and become disengaged. A manager I spoke to recently had been offered an amazing opportunity elsewhere, but when her manager sat down with her to thank her for her work, praise her progress and ask what motivated her, she decided to stay. “They made me feel valued,” she said.

On a daily basis, encourage people with a simple smile, celebrate success with a high-five, thank people at the end of a shift and highlight positive achievements to the whole team.

4. WELLBEING


Plenty has been written about the importance of looking after your staff’s well-being. When people feel stressed or that the balance of their life and work is wrong they become disengaged. We spend more of our waking hours at work than out of it, so it needs to be fun. Encourage fun and promote a relaxed environment where people can enjoy a laugh together.

Strive to establish the right work-life balance: encourage people to take breaks, monitor overtime and raise a flag if someone is doing too much. Set a manageable workload with the right balance of challenge and interest and ensure that people have the right tools, equipment and training.

Ensure people feel they can talk to someone about any issues they are experiencing in or outside work. Signpost people to additional support if needed.

5. FLEXIBILITY

Even prior to the pandemic, employees were seeking more flexibility, since it has become a priority, especially for Millennials and Generation Z. Flexibility means giving your staff the opportunity to enjoy their life outside of work as much as possible.

Be aware of what other commitments people have outside work, whether that’s childcare or studying. Try to provide rotas with as much notice as possible, avoid last-minute changes so people can plan their time away from work.

6. BETTER ONBOARDING

First impressions are critical. A strong onboarding experience from recruitment through to the first few weeks creates a lasting sense of engagement and commitment. It sets clear expectations and smoothly integrates new starters into the team.

7. GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT

People don’t just leave a job for more money - they leave because they’re not challenged, because they’re not learning and because they don’t see a future there.

What opportunities do you offer for personal growth and development? How do you support your staff to be the best they can be? This might be skills training for the job or mentoring from a colleague to develop soft skills. It might be just giving informal feedback to encourage them to push themselves forward or it could be talking about their future opportunities for promotion.

What opportunities do you offer for personal growth and development? How do you support your staff to be the best they can be? This might be skills training for the job or mentoring from a colleague to develop soft skills, it might be just giving informal feedback to encourage them to push themselves forward or it could be knowing that there are opportunities for promotion.

8. TREAT PEOPLE FAIRLY

Fairness means a leader treats everyone appropriately and individually, based on circumstances and contribution. A perception of unfairness is a major cause of resignations. For example, perceived unfairness in the distribution of rewards is very likely to lead to resignations.

9. EQUALITY DIVERSITY & INCLUSION

Make sure that opportunities for training, incentives and promotion are open to all staff. Encourage diversity in the organisation, as this can have a positive effect, highlighting that differences are embraced and welcomed and that no one is discriminated against.

10. FAIR REWARD


A secure income is obviously important to people, not least during this cost of living crisis. But while businesses are under their own financial pressures what else can you do to reward people for their commitment?

Employees now judge the remuneration packages on a broader range of measures including pensions, holiday allowance and other benefits.

Do you also offer incentives for higher performance, a benefits scheme (from pensions to perks)? Financial rewards, gifts or a hand-written note for high performance or going above and beyond are all meaningful ways to reward staff.

FINALLY, SPEAK TO YOUR TEAM

Going through these factors of employee engagement and retention will help you to identify any potential improvements you can make, but if you really want to know how engaged your team are, and what more they need - ask them. This could be through informal chats or a short questionnaire that can be completed anonymously. This gives people the opportunity to show what they appreciate and voice any concerns. If you can respond to these and you’ll show you care about your people and they’ll reciprocate with their commitment.

If you want to explore more about employee engagement and retention join my free online workshop on Thursday 7 October. How to build a happy, engaged & resilient team Sign up via my website and I’ll send you a link to join us on Zoom

Why should anyone be led by you?

Have you heard the old cliché:

"People don’t quit a bad job, they quit a bad boss?"

Perhaps you can think of a time when you’ve left a job purely because you didn’t get on with your manager? 

Leaders I speak to in every sector say that recruiting and retaining talent is currently the biggest barrier to growth. So there has never been a more important time for managers, to reflect on how they are as bosses, managers and leaders to create a positive environment and build a committed team. 

We fall into management

Managing a team of people is something that we often fall into. We get promoted because of our skill or ability, and suddenly we are responsible for other people. You need them to respect you, listen to you and be loyal to you, but it isn’t always easy. 

Here are my tips for being a better leader and understanding the difference between leadership and management. 

SELF-AWARENESS

Developing your leadership ability begins with some self-reflection and self-awareness of how your behaviour impacts those around you? What sort of boss are you - are you an inspiring leader or hands-on manager? Do you have rapport and trust with your team? Are you able to empower and energise your team? Are you consistent and able to keep your cool under pressure? 

It can be valuable to reflect on the best managers you’ve had or even the most inspirational teachers? How did it make you feel and how did it impact your commitment? I imagine the ones you remember inspired and motivated you, you will have felt they listened to and valued and as a result, you felt more committed and focussed. 

SHARE A VISION & INSPIRE

A leader needs to look beyond the day-to-day and ‘dream great dreams” Imagine your vision is to create a wildflower meadow and you have a team of people to do the hard work. A manager would give a specific list of instructions and tasks to each person - ask them to drill the soil, to plant the seeds in a specific way and to water it precisely. While a leader will share his vision of a beautiful colourful meadow, rich in biodiversity and ask the team how you can work together collectively to make that dream a reality. Which do you think is the most inspiring, motivating and going to get the best results? 

A manager’s job is to set operational objectives and standards, but as a leader it’s your role to communicate the vision, the big picture, and share a purpose and values in a way that will appeal to your team and that will motivate them to get out of bed in the morning. Make sure that even people with the most mundane jobs, can see how their role is key to achieving that vision. 

BUILD TRUST & RAPPORT

How strong are your relationships with your team, do they trust you and do you trust them? Without that individuals are only working for themselves and not for the team. Building rapport begins with growing your emotional intelligence, being able to see the whole person not just the worker, making time for one-to-one catch-ups and checking in on people’s wellbeing as well as just everyday tasks. 

Practice deep listening and paying attention to non-verbal communication as well as the words that are being said, sometimes the words coming out of someone’s mouth don’t match what their body language might be telling you. 

Are you able to keep your cool under pressure? How consistent and reliable are you? There’s nothing more tricky than tiptoeing on eggshells around your manager because you don’t know what mood they’re bringing to work that day. We’re all human and sometimes things can get too much, so if you do lose it sometimes, apologise, admit you were wrong and accept accountability for your mistakes. Demonstrating vulnerability is key to building trust. 

EMPOWER & ENABLE

To what extent do you give your employees autonomy and consult with them for their ideas and input? Give your employees the opportunity to contribute creatively, to solve challenges or own a project. Treat them as responsible adults, giving them agency to decide how they carry out their work (where possible) and to make a meaningful contribution to the business. This creates an environment where people feel that they are contributing to the greater good and will go over and above. 

SHOW APPRECIATION

It’s human nature to want to feel valued and appreciated. Feeling undervalued is one of the most frequently given reasons for leaving a job. While people who feel appreciated are more loyal and committed. Yet, we’re too often wrapped up in just getting the job done to remember to stop and thank people for their contributions. 

So as a leader, think about how you recognise people’s contribution, from small thank yous for getting a task done, to giving feedback to support people with their personal development or celebrating successes over a team drink. 

WHEN TO LEAD & WHEN TO MANAGE 

There is no right or wrong here, there’s a time and a place for both management and leadership. A good leader will be able to adapt depending on the person, the task, the context and the urgency. If you have a new starter with little experience or none of the technical skills required for the job, then you will need to be more manager, giving clear instructions and checking in on progress. In an urgent situation, for example, dealing with a difficult customer, again you may need to step in and manage the situation more closely. But when you are dealing with someone who is highly committed, whether or not they have the experience or skill, you can step back to a more supportive, coaching role, ask for their ideas and help them develop their skills. This gives them the chance to feel they are making a valuable contribution, to feel that they are being challenged and to grow their experience and confidence. 

Less experienced managers usually find themselves more at the directive managerial end of the spectrum, telling, showing, instructing, and often admit to micromanaging because it’s easier and quicker, but this is the fast track to creating low morale and unengaged teams. 

If you do one thing after reading this piece

Set aside a bit of time to reflect on how you show up at work, how your leadership approach impacts the people around you, why would anyone want to be led by you, what are your strengths and what do you perhaps need to work on?

If you are interested in exploring how these ideas apply to your experience and role, please get in touch about one-to-one coaching or my leadership development workshops.

Polly Robinson is an Executive Coach and Leadership Development Facilitator specialising in Working with leaders in hospitality.

Lead with Resilience

Happy staff create happy customers and that starts with a happy you.

Today we’re all under so much pressure at work and at home. Many teams I work with are short-staffed and those who are there are having to work harder and longer. But there’s only so long we can keep this up and eventually we start to run on empty, like a car running out of petrol - it doesn’t do us any good in the short or long term.

As a leader, it’s down to you to create an environment that fosters a positive attitude towards managing stress, prioritising our wellbeing and encourages a healthy work-life balance (or LIFE-WORK in that order).
Start by focussing on your own wellbeing, and then support your team.

It’s vital to start with yourself

Just as on an airplane we’re instructed to put our own oxygen mask on first. If you are starting to feel resentful, find yourself starting to complain to friends or family and keep coming back to the same issues, and if it’s starting to affect you out of work, it’s time to pause, shift your perspective and set some boundaries.

1. Firstly pause, recognise and accept how you are feeling. You can’t choose your emotions but you can choose how to respond to them. Try shifting your perspective, in moments of stress our perceptions can be warped and it’s easy to feel like the world is turning against you. Our brains are hard-wired to overreact in stressful situations.

2. Ask yourself in a month from now how much will this matter - and what about in a year?

3. Imagine you are a fly on the wall or a bird in the sky, what do you see from up there? Is anything clearer?

4. Focus on what you can control and influence and try not to get stuck on things that are out of your control, this reduces your feeling of overwhelm and frustration and enables you to be more proactive and effective. These steps will help you to build resilience and the ability to cope with and bounce back from adversity.

Your team’s wellbeing

When it comes to your staff, invest time in their wellbeing and create a supportive environment that considers the whole person and treats them as individuals. What are the things that make them want to come to work, or what might be the obstacles to them wanting to come in, is there anything you can do to make work more of fun and fulfilling for people?

1. On a day-to-day basis encourage positive relationships between colleagues and foster a supportive atmosphere where people are kind to each other. Doing nice things for other people releases oxytocin which makes you feel good about yourself. Encourage people to take their breaks and to get outside if they can, and to leave on time.

2. Proactively monitor people’s workload. Make sure that work is clearly defined, is well-matched to their abilities and that deadlines are acceptable. There’s a sweet spot where we are experiencing a moderate or higher level of pressure (this will be different for different people) and we are alert, stimulated, energetic, focused, and decisive. Not enough pressure we feel bored, apathetic, and frustrated and this can lead to low morale and underperforming. Too much pressure causes stress, and anxiety, can make us irritable and exhausted and eventually lead to burnout.

3. Strive for flexibility and forward planning - providing rotas as far ahead as possible, allowing people to swap shifts within reason, and make it acceptable to take sick leave for mental health challenges.

4. Finally, foster a culture where people can come and talk to you and share their problems inside or outside work. Listen and be respectful and ask them what they need from you, whether that’s more support or training, time-off (for mental or physical health) or sign-posting to professional advice.