Lead with Emotional Intelligence

In the recruitment crisis most sectors are facing today, it's more important than ever to remember the old adage:

People don’t quit a bad job. They quit a bad manager.

So how do you become the best boss you can be so that your team stick with you through thick and thin?

Remember your favourite boss?

It can be valuable to reflect on the best managers you’ve had or even the most inspirational teachers? How did it make you feel and how did it impact your commitment? I imagine the ones you remember inspired and motivated you, you will have felt they listened to and valued and as a result, you felt more committed and focussed.

Becoming a better boss and developing your leadership ability begins with some self-reflection and self-awareness of how your behaviour impacts those around you?

This is emotional intelligence or EQ.

This includes:

1. Self-awareness – knowing your strengths, weaknesses, drivers, triggers and values

2. Self-regulation – being able to control your impulses and moods

3. Empathy – understanding others’ emotions

4. Social Skills – building rapport with others

A leader with high emotional intelligence shows up as:

• Calm

• Encouraging

• Open-minded

• Flexible

• Cooperative

• Reliable

All qualities we’d like to see in our boss. While someone with low emotional intelligence shows up at work as:

• Stubborn

• Short-tempered

• Inconsistent

• Impulsive

• Bitter

• Demanding

Can you keep your cool?

Are you able to keep your cool under pressure? How consistent and reliable are you?
There is nothing more tricky than tiptoeing on eggshells around a manager because you don’t know what mood they’re in today.
Working on your self-regulation - in other words being able to maintain a consistent mood, even under pressure, builds trust and respect from your team.

Why does Emotional Intelligence matter:

EQ accounts for 90% of the factors that separate top-performing leaders from their peers. (Goleman, Business Psychologist)

Teams with members who exhibit high EQ demonstrate greater collaboration and productivity. (Journal of Applied Psychology)

Self-aware individuals tend to be more proactive in managing their emotions, leading to higher job satisfaction and overall wellbeing. (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology)

Leaders who demonstrate empathy have more engaged and committed teams. (Center for Creative Leadership)

Stifling emotions can lead to stress, burnout, and reduced productivity.

Lead with Confidence

Personal and business success goes hand-in-hand with confidence.

Confidence is the foundation of leadership - it’s the fuel that drives us forward.

Leaders are role models - so their confidence is contagious, and unfortunately, so is lack of confidence.

If you don’t first believe in yourself, you shouldn’t expect your team to believe in you, so when you find yourself managing a team or running a business, how can you build self-confidence that will boost your presence and impact.

Many people admit to experiencing Imposter Syndrome - that fear that we don’t deserve or haven’t got the experience to be in the management position we are in and that at any moment we’re going to be found out. We’re in good company - some of the most well-known business leaders have admitted to feeling like a fraud. Imposter Syndrome is most common in women but affects men too and can cause low self-esteem, anxiety, perfectionism, procrastination, fear of delegating, and to working extra hard to compensate for what we feel we’re lacking.

Here are my tips to build your confidence as a leader.

1. The first step is to building self-confidence and overcoming imposter syndrome is to build self-awareness and self-belief — acknowledge your strengths, be aware of your emotions, values and motivations, and any triggers. We tend to be our own harshest critic so listen to your inner voice and the stories it might be telling you from your past, don’t dwell on past failures or self-doubts, instead reframe them, and look for the lessons learned and towards the future.

2. Ask for feedback - it’s one of the best ways to grow and build self-awareness. Ask colleagues, friends and family and be prepared to listen, reflect and then act on it. If you face criticism, stay calm, clarify anything you don’t understand, acknowledge the truthful elements and work on what needs to change.

3. Accept compliments - there’s a curious, and perhaps very British, tendency to shrug off compliments and to be self-depreciating but start to take the positives on board. Pat yourself on the back and remember it for a day when you might need a boost. Similarly speaking to others positively and praising them will boost your mood as well as theirs.

4. Build your trust in others and learn to ask for help. It’s ok to admit that you can’t pull it all off by yourself so don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice, whether that’s delegating tasks, bringing in an expert or reading a book or going on a course to learn something new.

5. Let go of perfectionism - it can cause anxiety, unnecessary stress, or not delegating. Try to find a sweet spot and accept when good is good enough.

6. Be brave - recognise you can't always stay within your comfort zone and that personal and business growth involves embracing challenging experiences. If you find this hard then focus on the end goal, try mental rehearsals for difficult situations, and push yourself forward.

7. Use your body - when you hold a confident posture, standing straight, shoulders back, and breathing deeply, you not only LOOK but also FEEL more confident. Adopting a ‘power pose’ even if you’re not really feeling it will give you a boost

8. Look after yourself - when you’re feeling under pressure, pause to ground yourself, breathe. Set boundaries and accept it’s ok to say no sometimes.

9. Celebrate success - sometimes we’re so busy in the day-to-day that we don’t pause to reflect or acknowledge what we’ve achieved individually or as a team. Taking a moment to recognise the positives, however small, or to notice our role in achieving success is key to building confidence.

10. Be curious - no one can teach you to be more confident, it comes through experience and believing that you will get better through practice. So ask yourself what have I learned through this experience, what did I contribute, what can I take from this and what could I do differently next time? If you have time, write it down to look back on in the future.

Finally a much-quoted mantra from American writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie:

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

How to Give Feedback

How to Give Feedback

One of the most challenging things about becoming a manager is building the confidence to give effective feedback to your team. Delivering positive or negative feedback can feel daunting, you might not want to come across as soft and gushing or worry that the receiver won’t like you or that giving feedback may be pointless and unhelpful.

But giving feedback is crucial to keeping your team on track, boosting quality and performance, to avoiding or repeating mistakes, it can provide an opportunity for people to grow and develop and when delivered well it can be inspiring and motivating.

There’s a huge difference in impact between giving feedback badly and well. Badly delivered feedback can sound judgemental, vague or intangible, focussed on the past and saved up until it becomes an irritation or resentment. Words like “Why didn’t you”, “You never do this”, “You should do that” or worst of all “If I were you…” (Nobody likes a know-all!) This will create a defensive response, people will tune out and switch off.

Good Feedback is:

• Descriptive

• Specific

• Actionable

• Balanced

• Forward-looking

• Continuous

• Regular and consistent

• Delivered in a Private space (if possible)

Descriptive&objective

The sweet spot is to deliver feedback (and I’m talking about both positive and negative feedback here) that is specific and descriptive giving examples - “When you do this, the result/impact was …” . Rather than making assumptions use phrases like “I noticed” or “I believe”.

forward looking

Then explore the ‘what next’ and make it actionable. There’s a popular concept called “FEED-FORWARD” which suggests that it’s more effective to help people to learn to be right than to prove that they were wrong and that people will respond much more positively, listening better and coming up with their own ideas for improvement.

Two-way

Next, turn it into a conversation, ask people what they felt or observed was the impact, use questions to raise their awareness and ask them how they think they could do better next time. This will show your commitment to helping the person improve, grow and develop.

Immediate

Make feedback immediate, don’t save up those feedback conversations. If you have a process of performance appraisals or reviews, it can be tempting to hold back until the next one, but it should be part of the everyday management of your staff. Feedback should be a continuous loop, agree actions and objectives, monitor and support, review and reward.

Private

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Praise in public and criticise in private’. Public praise in front of peers and colleagues adds more weight to the praise, reinforces positive performance and encourages others to emulate. But if you have more critical feedback to give, it’s kinder to find a private place to talk and you are less likely to provoke a defensive response.

tough conversations

And what if you have a more serious issue to deal with and are dreading a difficult conversation? This is the time to not respond in haste or anger, take some to calm down, reflect and prepare for the conversation and be clear what you want to get out of it. Ask the person for a meeting and give them some time to prepare too. During the conversation try to regulate your emotions, getting angry will not help, describe the issue and its impact, be factual and specific. Then open up the conversation giving the recipient time to tell it from their perspective, listen and pause, before clarifying and summarising. Then move into problem solving together, asking questions to mutually agree next steps and finally suggest a follow up meeting.

If you can create an environment where feedback is regular and a two-way conversation, you will create a culture where people feel motivated, supported and inspired to keep learning and growing. 

How to Build a Happy and Engaged Team

How to build a happy and engaged team?

There’s an oft-cited phrase that people don’t quit a bad job, they quit a bad manager. So how can you be the best leader you can be, so that people will stick with you through thick and thin?

Every sector I speak to at the moment from hospitality to tech, from plumbing to law, is finding it harder to recruit than ever before. It’s a job-seekers market with plenty of opportunities for people looking for something new. So the challenge for business leaders is to create an environment where your staff want to stay with you, who will go over and above to achieve the business objectives and don’t disappear when the going gets tough.

When your team feel engaged, inspired and valued, they will be much more willing to go above and beyond to create the best possible experience for your customers.

So as a manager, how do you build a happy, committed and successful team?

The short answer is, it’s not just about paying them more!

Building an engaged team begins with creating a connection and a community and a culture around a common purpose and values. This creates a sense of belonging and commitment.  

Culture

Culture is that mysterious thing, that is hard to put into words and you can only really understand by experiencing it. You can break it down into the things you can see or have written down, in retail this includes things such as the uniform you might wear, the shop design (formal, informal, contemporary, traditional) and any written policies and manuals - but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

The juicy bit is beneath the surface - the way you behave with each other, how you talk to customers, any rituals and routines you have - how you greet each other at the start of the day, how you communicate (formal meetings or casual chats) and any ceremonies you have - going out for a drink to celebrate or publicly rewarding staff for a significant achievement.

Facets of employee engagement

Beyond culture and community, there are several key facets of employee engagement. I suggest reviewing each of these - what do you do well, where are the gaps, is there anything that could be tweaked?

1. Do you have a positive culture? Are the purpose, values and aspirations of the business clearly communicated to everyone? How good is communication between management and staff

2. Do people feel that staff are making a valuable contribution, do they have a manageable workload?

3. Do your staff get recognition for what they do?

4. Do they have the right balance of support, autonomy and challenge?

5. Do people have the right resources and training to do their job? 

6. Do people have the right work-life balance for them and how do you support people’s wellbeing? Of course, people have different needs and expectations and flexibility isn’t always possible in a retail environment, but be mindful of what else people have going on in their lives - whether it’s school runs, relatives to care for or exams to revise for.

7. What rewards do you offer? Of course, competitive pay and benefits come into it and security of income is important, especially in the current economic climate. Do you also offer incentives for higher performance although this doesn’t have to be a financial bonus, it could be a small gift for making a difference to a customer, or a voucher to spend with you (a bonus as it encourages them to get familiar with your products too).

8. What opportunities do you offer for personal growth and development? How do you support your staff to be the best they can be? This might be skills training for the job or mentoring from a colleague to develop soft skills, it might be just giving informal feedback to encourage them to push themselves forward or it could be knowing that there are opportunities for promotion.

Running through these questions will help you to identify any potential improvements you can make, but if you really want to know how engaged your team are, and what more they need - ask them. This could be through informal chats or perhaps a short questionnaire which can be completed anonymously. This gives people the opportunity to show what they appreciate and voice any concerns. If you can respond to these and you’ll show you care about your people and they’ll reciprocate with their commitment.

When to lead and when to manage

Think back to the most inspiring managers you’ve had in your life, or even the most inspirational teachers. How did it make you feel and how did it impact your commitment on the job or the subject?

I imagine the leaders you remember inspired and motivated you, you will have felt they listened to and valued and as a result, you felt more committed and focussed.

Now reflect on what kind of a leader you are. Are you an inspiring leader or hands-on manager?

Let’s explore the difference between leadership and management.

What’s the share purpose?

Imagine your vision is to create a wild flower meadow and you have a team of people to do the hard work. A manager would give a specific list of instructions and tasks to each person - ask them to drill the soil, to plant the seeds in a specific way and to water it precisely. While a leader will share his vision of a beautiful colourful meadow, rich in biodiversity and ask the team how you can work together collectively to make that dream a reality. Which do you think will get the best results?

A manager’s job is to set operational objectives and standards, but as a leader it’s your role to communicate the vision, the big picture, and share a purpose and values in a way that will appeal to your team and that will motivate them to get out of bed in the morning.

If your ambition is to offer the best most memorable customer experience or to create the most delicious quality cakes, what difference is that going to make to people, how are you going to do it and why should anyone believe you? In the corporate world this usually means creating and communicating mission, vision and purpose statements - what we do, why we do it and what we want to be known for; and communicating your values - then how do we do it?

Your Mission & Vision

You don’t need the carefully crafted statements you might see from big brands like Wholefoods or Waitrose, but do take time to answer those questions and share the results with your employees.

Another important quality of a good leader is to empower and enable staff, consulting with them, seeking and valuing their input and encouraging them to stretch and grow. 

There is no right or wrong here, there’s a time and a place for both management and leadership. A good leader will be able to adapt depending on the person, the task, the context and the urgency. If you have a new starter with little experience or none of the technical skills required for the job, then you will need to be more manager, giving clear instructions and checking in on progress. In an urgent situation, for example dealing with a difficult customer, again you many need to step in and manage the situation more closely. But when you are dealing with someone who is highly committed, whether or not they have the experience of skill, you can step back to a more supportive, coaching role, ask for their ideas and help them develop their skills. 

Many of the managers I work with find themselves more at the directive managerial end of the spectrum, telling, showing, instructing, and often admit to micromanaging because it’s easier and quicker, but this is the fast track to creating low morale and unengaged teams.

So to develop more committed staff who will help you build a successful business, start to build a partnership with them, share your vision, encourage shared ownership of the big picture, be transparent in communication, trust, listen and value their views, foster collaboration and together you will see great results.

10 Tips for launching a food & drink brand

Launching a new food or drinks brand or adding a new product to an existing range is exciting but challenging.

Whether you are setting up a start-up business, hustling a side project, or introducing a new brand or product range to an existing business, it’s essential to have a clear value proposition and USP (unique selling proposition), a defined target audience, a robust business plan and identified your routes to market.

Here are my 10 Top Tips - well 11 tips in fact, for launching a food & drink business - or a business in any sector.

1. Work out your value proposition

How does your product make customers happy? What is the value you offer? You are unlikely to be launching something completely new and unheard of, but what is unique about what you do? 

Robert Breakwell of of Suffolk-based Niche Cocktails says:

“Know your market and competitors; what makes you different / better / relevant / what is your USP? What are you offering the consumer that no-one else is doing?”

2. Start with Why

Ok, so we’ve nicked this title from best-selling business guru Simon Sinek’s popular book. When you start to talk about your brand and product don’t just focus on WHAT you do, the product details like the taste, or HOW you do it - like your environmental measures, but WHY you do it. If you can clearly communicate why you exist, what’s your purpose or belief and why should anyone care, you will stand out from the crowd and build loyalty.

"If you believe in what you are doing so will everyone else.” says Breakwell.

3. Identify your target audience

As the old adage goes, if you are marketing to everyone, you are going to reach no-one! So be as specific as you can about what type of consumer you are trying to reach - whether it’s based on demographics (geography, gender, age) or their tastes, values and lifestyle. You can even create profiles of your typical customer to help build up their personality.

Robert Breakwell says: “Understand your consumer and focus everything on making your promise to them sincere.”

4. Create a business plan

You need to have a destination in mind and a plan of how to get there, how will you know where to start and how will you know if you’ve succeeded?

Think about the time and resources you need to launch your brand or product, what are all the steps, process and measures of success? It might be to sell a certain number of units or to launch in any number of stockists.

Alan Ridealgh, founder of Humber Doucy Brewery says “Have the best business plan you can create: think about the time and resources you need to build your business: do you need a space to create your product, equipment to make it, a website, packaging and marketing. Try and think of every element of your business from start to end.”

5. Ask for help in the right places

There is a huge amount of support out there for businesses of all sizes whether you are starting from scratch or a long-established. Look for what’s available regionally, your local Growth Hub is a good place to start and perhaps your region has a Food Innovation Centre.

6. Formulate a budget

How much is it going to cost you? What are the fixed costs or those that vary on how many units you are producing? Can you calculate a breakeven point - so you know how many units you have to sell to cover your costs? The reality is that the most common reason businesses fail is because they run out cash - so don’t forget your cashflow forecast.

"Have defined finance in place before starting and formulate a budget. Work how much it will be to set up, make your product and break even? How much can you charge and ensure you have the funding to ensure it survives.” Continues Alan Ridealgh, Humber Doucy Brewery.

7. Build a memorable brand

Your brand is far more than your name, your logo, your packaging, it’s about every connection that your customer has with you. Brand is what makes people remember you and why they will recommend you to their friends, so make it unique, genuine and consistent.

9. Identify your routes to market

Are you going to sell direct to your customers through a website or at events, or are you going to seek listings with independent retailers or aim high at supermarkets?

10. Tell the world

Social media is an amazing free resource to grow a community of fans. Focus on the right platform for your audience rather than spreading yourself to thin by being on all of them.

11. Work fast

Finally "Work fast – Being small gives you the opportunity to make decisions quickly and get there fast.” says Robert Breakwell.

How to do your own PR

Have you ever wondered how to get your product or service featured in the national press, featured in a glossy magazine or reviewed online?

If you have some exciting news to share, a brand new product or service, opened a new restaurant or shop, won an award or anything else you want the world to know about your brand, this workshop is packed with ideas of how to get your story into newspapers, magazines and digital media without the cost of investing in a PR agency.

In this workshop, I will share:

• What is PR

• How to tell your story and what makes it news

• Ideas for how to get your brand and product into the media

• Insight into how the media works

• Tips on how to approach and build relationships with journalists

• How to write a press release

• How to maximise the PR you receive

This workshop was delivered for the Norfolk and Suffolk Food Innovation Cluster - which provides networking, training and support for food and drink businesses in the region.

If you have questions about PR or do need a bit of help, get in touch.

How to do your own PR workshop

Hospitality Mavericks Podcast interview

I’ve long been a fan of the podcast Hospitality Mavericks, so I was really excited to be asked by its host Michael Tingsager, to join him to chat about my work as an executive coach and running leadership development programmes.

We talk about the difference between leadership and management, how to build a strong, happy and engaged team, changing expectations of work life and just some of the challenges facing business leaders today.

I also share my own story of how I moved from hospitality and food & drink branding and communications to become a business coach, and how I build healthy routines and lots of exercise to look after myself.

You can listen to the podcast on all the usual podcast channels from Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon and below on YouTube.

I highly recommend all the podcasts on Hospitality Mavericks!

Find them all here: Hospitality Mavericks >

International Women's Day - Women Chefs

My International Women’s Day shout-out goes to my daughter Bea who’s had a huge influence on me choosing to specialise in coaching and leadership training in hospitality and making it a better, happier, healthier place to work for everyone, especially women. 

In the depths of the pandemic, aged just 17, Bea decided she wanted to be a chef and set off across the country to become an apprentice at The Pig Hotel, near Bath. Her interview was the day before the November 2020 lock-down began, and she was finally able to start as soon as hospitality could reopen outside only in April 2021.

Bea had grown up surrounded by chefs and food producers, being dragged on farm tours and to food festivals as a tiny child while I ran my field-to-fork experience business Food Safari. Trips and holidays always involved going to markets, food shops and restaurants. Perhaps it was inevitable she’d end up interested in food!

At the time we talked about how challenging life as a chef is, especially for women, physically hard work, emotionally draining, incompatible with being a mum, and still often a male-dominated, sometimes misogynistic, chauvinistic world.  Like all good teenager daughters, she ignored my advice and off she went. I couldn’t be prouder!

Things ARE shifting and hospitality is becoming a better place to work for everyone with more awareness of diversity, calling out unacceptable behaviour and attitudes and looking after people’s wellbeing.

Women in hospitality make great leaders

And, of course, there are many inspirational women chefs out there, not just the big names you see on TV, but in every cafe, pub and restaurant across the country.

Women make fantastic leaders:

• collaborative

• empathetic and supportive

• good at listening and communicating

• creative

• driven and determined

• tenacious

It’s been fascinating working with some of you in my coaching & leadership workshops, and I look forward to meeting more of you!

Here are some photos of Bea’s early days at The Pig in 2021 and more recently.

Shift Your Perspective

Shift your perspective

Moments of high stress can warp your perception of reality, making you feel like the world is out to get you.

Our brains are hard-wired to sense threat and tend to overreact in stressful situations.

Changing perspective allows us to release thinking patterns that no longer serve us and to see the world through fresh eyes. 

What can you gain from looking at things another way?

Imagine you are a fly on the wall, or a bird in the sky - how would things look from up there?

HOW TO SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE

• Stop and notice how you feel.

•  Accept that feeling, don't push it away.

• Create distance by naming it out loud or writing it down.

• Change your surroundings.

• Breathe

• Ask yourself how much this will matter in a month, what about a year?

• What are you grateful for?

• What would your wisest most supportive friend say about this?

• What's a different way to see it?

• Now move forward.